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He had to stay for a while, giving interviews and posing for pictures. Jin and Jeremy took turns keeping me company while Jude did his thing. Tino and Juan joined us after a while, and when Jude saw them, he came over again and squatted in front of me, hands on my thighs.
“Hey, I have probably another half hour to go here. Why don’t you hitch a ride with your boys, and I’ll meet you there?” he said.
His hair had gotten so long, he could tuck it behind his ears now. I missed the way it used to flop down in his eyes. I missed a lot about how things used to be.
“All right. I’ll see you at home.”
Tino hadn’t thrown a real party in over a year. Tonight, he felt like celebrating. It didn’t take long for word to get out that there was going to be a party at his place, and by the time we returned from D.C., there were already people hanging out on his porch and front yard with beer or Solo cups in hand.
I jumped out of the SUV as soon as it stopped. The tension between Ben and me was so thick, it was hard to breathe when we were sharing the same space.
He touched my shoulder, but I shrugged him off. “Don’t follow me, Ben. I can’t be near you right now.”
Inside, I went straight for the kitchen, pouring myself a shot and downing it quickly. Even as I poured another one, music started blasting out of the speakers installed in Tino’s walls and partiers began wandering in.
Two shots, combined with the two beers I’d had earlier, had me calming down, but also burrowing into my sadness. Nina found me sitting on the kitchen counter, watching the party going on around me.
She cupped my cheeks. “Pull yourself together, Tals. The world isn’t falling apart.”
Heather came up behind her, circling her arms around Nina’s waist. “Why’s Tali getting all your attention? I need some, babe.”
“She just got here, Heather. I haven’t seen her in a week.” Nina patted her hand. “Give me a few minutes, babe.”
Heather dropped her hands. “Fine. I’ll go entertain myself.”
Nina turned to watch her stomp out of the kitchen, and when she turned back to me, I saw I’d lost my cousin for the night.
“Go,” I said, and she didn’t hesitate to follow Heather.
I sat there for a while, sipping a beer I didn’t really want, wondering if it had been a half hour yet. My head tipped back, resting on the cabinet behind me, and I closed my eyes.
They flew open when firm hands slid up the outsides of my thighs. “Baby, baby, baby, baby,” Jude chanted before bringing his mouth to my neck. He slid his lips along my throat and over my chin, finding my mouth and taking what he wanted. His hands were all over me, and his mouth was on a mission to devour mine.
He pushed my shirt up, exposing my stomach, trailing fingers across my skin. Then he pushed it up higher, cupping my breasts through my bra.
I broke from my mouth, tore myself away to grab his wrists. “Jude, no. Everyone will see.”
His eyes opened, and my heart broke. Instead of the hazel I adored, the only color I saw was black, black, black.
“Don’t care, baby. Let them see.”
He moved back in, pressing his mouth to mine, but now I tasted was the wrongness of it all. I refused to open up to him, but he was determined, biting at my lips until I gasped, giving him an opening to shove his tongue deep inside.
I did the only thing I could think of to get him to stop and regain some sense. Rearing back, I slapped his shoulder as hard as I could. He startled and pulled away to look at me with a confused frown.
“What the fuck, Stripes?”
“You’re high. You’re touching me in a way that is making me uncomfortable. I asked you to stop and you didn’t.” I shoved at him, and he backed off enough for me to hop down from the counter.
He caught me around the waist before I could leave the room, his hot breath beside my ear. “I’m sorry, Stripes. I know you don’t like it, but it’s a party. No big deal. I shouldn’t have touched you like that, though.”
He held me so tight, I couldn’t turn to face him. That was just as well, since I didn’t want to look at him. “You’re only sorry for manhandling me, not breaking your promise?”
He sighed heavily, laying his forehead on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I made you unhappy, baby. It’s a big night for me. I performed at the fucking 9:30 Club. I just wanna celebrate with my girl, okay?”
I nodded, even though it wasn’t. None of this was okay. But he was too high to talk right now, so I’d drop it. Besides, I wasn’t sure there was anything I could say when he was sober to make him get how he’d betrayed me.
We moved outside, and Jude was happy, lively, talking to old friends, soaking up the praise being heaped upon him. Someone turned on Never Again’s old CD, pumping him up even more.
