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She turned back to me then. “So, was it the same day you hugged me and told me you’d wait if I asked?”
I pinched the throbbing pulse in my forehead. “No, it was a couple days before that.”
She leaned the side of her head against her headrest. “I really hate this, Jude. It’s so stupid because I had no claim on you, but I hate knowing I was developing feelings for you while you were fucking your ex and god knows who else.”
“I hate it too. You gotta know, that was just sex. There weren’t feelings involved. If I’d thought for one second I could havethiswith you, if I’d actually believed there was even a possibility, I’d have kept my dick locked away until the end of time.”
Her eyelids lowered and she let out something in between a laugh and a sob. Whatever the sound, it tore at my heart. I slammed my hand on the console, cursing its existence and my inability to get to her because of it.
Yanking off my seatbelt, I got out of the car and hurried around to Tali’s side. I wrenched her door open, dropping to my knees in front of her. My arms wrapped around her waist, and I pressed my face into her middle, breathing her in and holding her tight.
“I love you so fucking much, Tali. I can’t lose you.”
Her hands stroked my hair tentatively, then with a firmer, soothing touch.
“You’re not going to lose me. Not if you promise to always tell me the truth, even if you think I won’t like it.”
“Jesus Christ, of course. Always.” I cupped her cheeks, wiping a lone tear away. “You’re mine until the end of time, and I want to be yours too.”
Instead of answering, she leaned into me, kissing me with tear-softened lips. It wasn’t deep or sexy, but it was the sweetest kiss we’d ever shared. It was also a promise I intended to keep.
“Youaremine, Jude, which is why it hurts to hear you’ve kept something from me. But I want to trust you, so I will. Don’t make a fool of me please.”
I held her for a long time, until my knees ached from the gravel, then I got back in the car. My hands were still a little shaky, so we stayed parked there, talking about the Busted tour and all the cities it would stop at. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to come with us, but the ground we were standing on was still being rocked by aftershocks, so I’d wait.
When we got home, I parked in front of Tali’s dorm and pulled her into my lap. No way was I letting her leave my sight without holding her again. Her body curled into mine immediately, telling me she needed it just as much.
“These last two days have been everything. And now I’m sitting here thinking I ruined them.”
She shook her head, her mouth against my neck. “You didn’t. We hit a bump, but we worked it out. The two moments I’ll take to my deathbed are you singing to me from high up on that stage and the three of us listening to music in the garage. The other stuff? It’ll fade. Those won’t.”
I kissed her temple. “It won’t be the bathroom sex? ’Cause, I gotta say, that one’s burned in my brain.”
She snorted. “That’ll be part of my spank bank material when you’re gone.”
A heaviness gripped my chest thinking about being away from her. I pushed it aside. It’d come, but it didn’t have to be now. “Love you, Stripes.”
“Can we sit here for a few more minutes?”
My arms tightened around her. “I’ve got nowhere else I need to be.”
She hummed. “Love you too, Jude.”
