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Nick smacked her ass again and growled about showing her how fun doing it with a buddy could be.
I’d ridden an ATV before, but not for a while. Gabriel went through the basics with me, I strapped on a helmet, then I was off. In the distance, I heard a faint rumble of the other ATV, so I drove in that direction.
I found Tali off her ATV, picking wild berries from a bramble bush. She’d turned at the sound of my approach, but she must’ve recognized me under the helmet, because all I got now was her back.
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the view. She hadn’t lied, her ass had gotten fuller over the years, but holy hell, was she even more perfect this way. I probably shouldn’t have been thinking about how I’d like to press up behind her and feel the give of her curves, not when I’d messed up so badly, but I found her so fucking beautiful, sometimes it was hard to breathe. Her body, which I’d once known better than my own, had been driving me to distraction for weeks, and seeing her now, in her little yoga pants and tank top, it was hard to think of anything else.
I came to a stop next to her ATV and shook my hair out after I took my helmet off.
“Tali.”
She turned, eyebrow raised. “Jude. I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I told you I used to tour with Blossoms and Bones. Gabriel called and extended the invite last night,” I explained, moving to stand next to her.
She nodded. “You should try one of these berries. They’re delicious.”
I accepted the offered berry. “Are you trying to poison me, Stripes?”
She shrugged, giving me a dry look. “Only one way to find out.”
The berry was so fresh and sweet, I immediately picked a couple more and popped them in my mouth. “What a way to go. Death by berry and beautiful woman.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t be flirty with me.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “All right. I just want to talk.”
She sighed, turning back to the bush. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”
“Nothing happened with me and Claudia. You get that, right?”
Her movements were stiff as she picked a few more berries. “You don’t owe me any explanation.”
“Nah, I do. I owe you a lot. But even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t want you thinking anything’s going on with me and Claudia. She’s a friend. She’s Ben’s sister. But that’s it. She’s been married for six years, has a four-year-old son, and another on the way. Her husband is named Levin. He’s a Swiss psychologist and likes to shrink me up every time we talk, but I like the hell out of him.”
Tali rubbed her bare arms. “I’m glad she’s happy. Aviva and Ronnie are loving being grandparents.”
“You knew?”
She raised her chin in a defiant gesture. “I keep in touch with them. I knew Claudia was married with a child, although I wasn’t aware she was pregnant again. But...when I saw you and her together, common sense didn’t play a part in my reaction. All I saw was you, yet again, in the arms of the girl you ran to when Ineededyou.”
I rubbed my mouth, taken aback and not at all sure what to say.
She started for her ATV, and I stayed on her heels, not wanting this conversation to be over. I didn't know when I’d next get a chance to talk to her alone.
“Tali, Jesus, if I could go back to when you asked me to play basketball, I’d change my answer. I regret so much, and I don’t want to keep racking up more regrets, especially not when it comes to you.”
She whirled around, her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders in angry waves.Shedidn’t look angry. Tired, resigned, but there was no wrath in her eyes.
“We don’t need to do this. I told you from the beginning we wouldn’t be friends after this. I’d say let’s cut our losses now, but we cut our losses on my front porch when you punched my dad. We just did that in different ways. I cried myself to sleep for a month, you got high and married another girl.”
I reached for her, wanting like hell to deny the truth in her statement, but since I couldn’t, I’d settle for soothing her. Only, she wouldn’t have it. She jerked away and climbed on her mud-splattered ATV, speeding off before I could get my bearings.
We’d spent all this time together on tour, talking for hours, but we’d never discussed our ending. Any time either of us got near it, we’d jump away like it was a poisonous snake with venom dripping from its fangs.
My chest went hollow at the thought of Tali crying for a month. The even worse feeling was acknowledging how right she was. I’d coped by telling myself letting her go was the selfless thing to do, followed by drowning my sorrows in drugs and bad decisions.
That we broke up thirteen years ago didn’t matter, not when our love had been the kind meant to last a lifetime. Three years later, at Ben’s house, Tali would have taken me back if I could’ve been the man she needed. Five years ago at my concert at the 9:30 Club, I found her in a crowd of a thousand. Something in her had always pulled at something in me, and that would never change. Thirteen years or ninety, that pull would remain.
