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“Anytime you’re ready,” he prompts me. “I’ve got all night, baby.”
I sigh, taking a rather large swig of the brown liquid and feeling it burn on its descent. Sue and I discussed this at length, but I feel like I’m about to break his heart…and possibly mine.
“Now that The American is caught, Luka is dead, Lynn is in custody, my father will be soon, and the truth is finally out,” I begin, “I see my life has pretty much been a messy lie. My life has been shattered, and it’s time I pick up the pieces. Since coming back this time, I’ve been feeling all kinds of different emotions.” His face tightens a little. I can tell this is going to completely blindside him. “I need to make a change.”
He downs his drink, setting it aside, and folds his arms, which flex like he’s holding back a reaction.
I close my eyes, deciding to rip the Band-Aid off. “I need to move out.” Silence. My eyes flutter open to find him staring at the floor. “Cole, I need to find out who I am before I can move forward. I just need some time.” He slowly nods.
“It’s not completely safe yet. Your father—” He doesn’t look at me.
“Is being watched by the NYPD, so if he ever heads this way, they’ll let you know. I’m only moving in town, just down the street from your parents. It’s a cute little place, one bedroom, a sweet little kit—”
He suddenly stiffens. “You already found a place?”
I only nod, realizing how bad this must look. “I got a job at Zack’s. I have your parents nearby in case I get into trouble, and Melanie is my neighbor. I know this is a shock, but I really need to do this, Cole. Please understand.”
He shakes his head and looks anywhere but at me. “And where does this leave us?”
I want to make sure I use the right words. He needs to know I don’t want to break up. I love him. I just want some separate space so I can live a little, be Savannah Miller, the girl who has a dark past but is ready to face the light on her own two feet, not have someone looking after her. This house is amazing. It’s my home, but the guys are too protective. Now that the threat is pretty much gone, I’m ready to take back my life, but before I get a chance to tell him all this, he tilts my world a little more. “You know what, maybe some time apart is a good thing. I have a trip coming up, and I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m gone.”
“Don’t want to have to worry about me?” I repeat his words, feeling the sting. “You want to break up?” I barely whisper, feeling my entire body tingle as the blood drains to my feet. His words slice me open. I know he worries about me, but I didn’t know how much he minded it.
He scoops up his glass and moves swiftly across the room, pouring himself another drink. “You seem to have everything figured out. Seems this goes hand in hand with your plan. Besides, we knew this would have to come to an end sometime. You’re a city girl, I’m a country guy. It’s not a movie, Savannah. This shit doesn’t work out. It’s not always a happy ending. You don’t belong here anymore. You don’t need our protection now.”
I stare at his back in utter shock. I’m moving to Redstone! It’s like fifteen or twenty minutes from here, not New York. I can’t even form a thought. So instead I place my glass down on a coaster and pull out the paper from my dress pocket, feeling like it is burning my hand. “Christina asked me to give you this. She said thanks for dinner.”
He quickly turns as I rest the envelope against my glass. I leave before he can say another word, but I don’t miss his ‘deer caught in headlights’ look before I go. I don’t want to break up, but I’m also not going to be the woman who stands by while another woman has time with him.
The day passes in a haze, and that night at dinner the table is buzzing with news about the house’s newest recruit, Davie. He and Dell seem to be hitting it off pretty well. I wait until dessert before I share my news with the house. Keith is watching me. I think he’s worried about me leaving, but I’ll be all right. Cole is to my left, not eating, just nursing his drink. I won’t let the hurt in—yet—not until I’m behind closed doors by myself. If I show weakness now, they’ll never be okay with me leaving.
I stand, feeling slightly lightheaded, and clear my throat as the hum around the table dies and all eyes fall on me.
“What’s up, Savi?” Mike asks, cocking his head to the left.
I force a smile and start, “Umm, I just want to say thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’ve been through a lot, and if it wasn’t for all of you, I wouldn’t have made it. But, as they say, all good things must come to an end. You caught the bad guys, and now I’m free.” I try to make a joke, but instead my eyes water. “So, I got myself a little place in town, near Daniel and Sue’s, so you will be officially Savannah-free shortly.” It’s hard to watch their faces drop and see their eyes flicking from Cole and back to me. He is staring intently at his drink.
Dell is the first to speak, breaking the painful silence. “But is it safe?”
“If she stays in Redstone, she should be fine,” Daniel says softly. “We’ll keep an eye on her. Zack will too.”
Mark shakes his head, looking pissed off. “You don’t have to go, Savannah. None of us want you to leave.”
“That’s very sweet, Mark,” I say, feeling the pain ooze through the cracks in my armor, and this makes me angry. “But I’m a city girl, remember. I don’t belong here.”
“Cole,” Mark pleads, “say something.”
“He’s said enough,” I interrupt, just wanting to go upstairs. “Look, everyone, you are the family I never had. I’m only in town. You’ll still see me all the time. You just don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can go back to being the heroes and knights for some other person in the world.”
Keith shakes his head at Dell, who is about to make a comment. I decide to end on a light note before I make my exit. “Just watch your back, because you never know when Agent Black will come back.”
John laughs, breaking the tension at the table. Mark smiles, but I can tell he’s not happy.
A glance at the clock shows it’s two a.m. Sleep just doesn’t seem to be happening for me. My bags are packed with everything Abigail got for me when I arrived at the house, and they are already loaded in the SUV. I’m not supposed to leave until tomorrow afternoon, but I need to get out now. Cole won’t speak or even look at me, and the pain is becoming too much to bear. I just want to leave now. Yes, I’m running, but this time I can’t help it. Dressing quickly and making the bed, I take one last look around my room, remembering the first day I arrived here. How scared I was, how lonely I felt. I didn’t think I was going to make it. I remember the first time Cole touched me, kissed me, and made love to me in the shower. A small smile comes to my lips saying goodbye, because if I don’t smile, I’ll cry, and I’m not ready to yet.
My boots seem loud as I walk down the hallway. I grab a pair of car keys out of John’s jacket but quickly tuck them back in when I see headlights light up the entryway. I step outside just as the passenger window rolls down. I know who it is; he must have been waiting. I climb in the front seat, giving Keith a guilty smile.
“I knew you’d leave in the night.” He turns the heated seats up and heads for the first gate. I watch as the massive cabin that was once my safe house grows smaller in the mirror. A part of my heart wants to run back…but it wants Cole, not the house. But he doesn’t want me.
