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Is it possible that that girl was Izzie? Is she mad that I don’t remember her?
Did she think we made some lasting, intimate connection? That I was going to ask her to marry me or something?
She seems way too smart to be that naive.
But knowing me, when I’m in charm mode, I have a tendency to promise girls the world. I probably gave her my number, told her I’d text her the next day, and filled her with empty promises about moving to New York with me.
Drunk me says the craziest shit.
I probably promised her diamonds. Told her I’d pay her student loans. Told her I’d take her on a ride in my private jet.
If that’s the case, I can totally understand why she’d be pissed at me.
We had sex, and you promised me the world, now you don’t even remember me.
It’s like the Miami girl all over again. That chick was a nightmare.
While partying with some of my boys in Miami, I met this gorgeous girl who I hooked up with at the beginning of my trip. She then kept following me around town, popping up “coincidentally” at all the clubs I was at, giving me the evil eye every time I danced with or spoke to another girl who wasn’t her.
I eventually had to pull her aside and tell her that I wasn’t looking to be exclusive. I was just having fun in Miami with my friends. But she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Furious, she calledBuzz Sportsand told them everything about me, telling them that I was a jerk whousedher and that I came “super fast” while having sex.
A straight-uplie, by the way.
I took the higher road and ignored the articles, but the rumors persisted, further painting me as some partying meathead.
And then there’s Boat Girl.
She was some chick I met on (you guessed it) a boat while vacationing at the Hamptons. She was both gorgeous and smart. But after partying with her, she tried to slip me her freakin’ resume!
She later told me that she had aspirations to be a sports reporter, and wanted to know if I had any connections to hook her up. I politely showed her the door.
There were many other women before her, too. God, so many women—Julia, Mallory, Jackie, Marissa, Tasha, Heather, Gina, Nikki, Komiko, Lauren, Maria…
But not an Izzie.
So why does she seem like someone Ishouldknow? She doesn’t seem anything like the Miami-and-Boat-Girl types. In fact, I doubt she drinks or parties at all.
She seems really sweet and innocent, like she’s from a small town. San Antonio probably seems huge and “major” to her.
She’s definitely a girl-next-door type. A girl like her wouldn’t sleep around or call the tabloids behind my back.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever hooked up with a girl like Izzie before.
When you’re an athlete, you attract a certain kind of woman. The type who’s not looking to settle down or have a relationship.
They’re the type who want money and access to all the perks that I have. They’re fame leechers, basically.
Hey, I’m definitely not complaining. Most guys would kill to have women constantly throwing themselves at them. But sometimes it all feels a tad superficial.
I mean, I probably haven’t hooked up with a girl like Izzie since…high school? It’s definitely been a while since I dated the girl-next-door type who just wanted the simple things in life.
Or maybe I’m getting Izzie mixed up with someone else?
You know, this is why I gotta quit drinking so much. Here I am racking my brain, forcing myself to take the Walk of Shame through my mental rolodex of women, and I’mstilldrawing a blank.
Maybe this morality clause is for the best (and I can’t believe I’m even admitting to that). If I was sober, there’s no way I would’ve forgotten a girl like Izzie.
No way I would’ve forgotten a face like that.
