AllFreeNovel
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Watching all the groups of families around me is sobering.
I’ve changed because of them.
The morality clause forced me to slow down and be accountable for my actions, instead of acting like a spoiled child looking for attention.
I grew up without my parents, constantly competing with my siblings for attention from people who didn’t give a shit about any of us.
That same cycle just continued into adulthood—and now I’ve finally broken free.
I don’t miss the meaningless hookups and constant partying.
Between more sleep, less booze, and Izzie’s diet, I feel better than I have since high school. No more aches and pains.
And I only wish I could tell her. I’m still kicking myself for flying off the handle at her. But I mean, how else was I supposed to react?
Shit.
I never thought I’d think this either, but because of the time I spent with Liam and Izzie, I can now see the appeal of having a family.
Having that one person, that one constant...like how Izzie was to me. Someone that you could come home to and laugh with. Or tell them about the road rage you had and how you almost killed someone.
The last few weeks at my place have seemed extremely quiet.
Quiet and—as weird as it is to say—lonely. The only good thing, if I can even call it that anymore, is that I’ve had plenty of time to focus on the game.
Constantly surrounded by fans, teammates, reporters, and paparazzi, I’m on my toes, sure. But when I go home, I don’t have anyone to share things with.
As my teammates, surrounded by their families and friends, start drifting off and heading for the door, I move to the exit.
It’s time for me to grow up and face some hard facts about my past behavior.
I’ve spent a large chunk of my life choosing to act and do things not in my best interest. Never missing out on any immediate pleasure, I just flitted along, partying and centering my life loosely around women and alcohol.
But it’s sacrificed my long-term self-respect. I’m embarrassed by the article inSports Illustrated.
I’m not that person anymore.
Taking command of my mind and making decisions for my body and career’s best interest has been the most satisfying and fulfilling thing I’ve ever experienced.
Sure, it took a little prodding and a morality clause in my contract, but I did it.
So, the long-term effects of our choices either leave us with discipline or regret.
I don’t want to regret anything else in my life.
What’s that military saying? Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
So, I want someone special in my life. A significant other, lover, and confidant. But do I want to get married?
The only person I would ever consider this with is Izzie. She’s perfect. I crave her back in my life like a drug.
But with everything I’ve done in the past, how will she ever believe that I’m in it for the long haul?
In the past, I didn’t make any serious decisions, not really. I just let whatever inspired me happen.
Well, no more. I’m stepping up and taking what I want.
I need Izzie and Liam in my life.
