AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Fuck off, Lock. I can’t handle this right now.”
She tries to push me away. I stand my ground.
I can’t let her go now. I just can’t.
I’ve had enough of it all. It’s time for this cycle to end. And not only just for my sake, but for Sammi’s, too.
“Well, boohoo for you, Sams. No more running.”
“I am not running.”
I laugh in her face. It’s the first thing my mind thinks to do, and she needs to know that she’s bullshitting me.
“All you do is run, Sammi. Every. Fucking. Time. You run.”
This is not going to be a pretty scene, but if I don’t lay it out now and be brutally honest, she’s never going to let herself be happy. If it makes her hate me, so be it. But she needs this.
“You know what your problem is, Sammi? You’re a fucking a coward.”
She gives me a look, as though I just slapped her across the face with a baseball bat. She looks hurt, but it’s a look that only lasts for a second. Her eyes get wide, and I’m pretty sure she’s wishing shehada bat to hit me with.
Calling her out in public like this really wasn’t the plan, but it just happened that way. Preferably, I’d like it to have been behind closed doors or somewhere with far less people around to gawk and stare. But then again, nothing about these last few hours has been ideal at all.
All I can do is focus on her and me and us. That’s it.
I’ll admit that it isn’t easy with a crowd of onlookers watching us. We’ve got tourists from probably four different countries watching, a horde of locals in the middle of shopping, and even a couple uniformed cops are looking on.
I’m pretty sure they’re all waiting to see how badly she kicks my Aussie arse.
“I am not a fucking coward.” She looks like she’s going to hit me again after she says it.
Just to be safe, I take a step back.
She hits harder than you’d think.
“That’s bullshit. The only time you ever live your life and have fun is when you get drinking. But sober you? She runs to the hills the second life gets even remotely complicated.” I pause for a moment to let her think on that. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me, Sams. Do it. I dare you.”
I know she won’t do it. And she knows that I know. But that’s the point.
Sober Sammi is just damn afraid to live her life.
You can swim with sharks or giant stingrays or battle poachers every day of the week. That kind of thing doesn’t make you brave. It doesn’t save you from being called a coward.
If you can’t admit to loving someone unless you’re drunk, or if you aren’t able to go out and live the life you want unless you’re drinking, well, bad news, mate: you’re a coward.
“You can’t, can you?” I don’t give her the time to answer. “But if you were drunk? Oh, well, then this would be a whole different story then, wouldn’t it?”
We’re both really wound up at this point. It’s a flood of emotions—from anger to frustration to affection.
I know that she loves me, just as I know I love her. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it.
Fuck, I’ve held it in my hands like it’s something physical and tangible.
We’ve come so far that, at this point, it’s too far gone to turn back now.
“You’re an asshole, Lock,” she hisses with tears pooling in her eyes.
“You’re right, Sam. I am an asshole. But I’m a sober asshole who’s standing here right now, telling you that he loves you. I live my life how I want—without having to find courage at the bottom of some bottle to do it.”
