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“Look, buddy,” I interject. “You look sharp and all, but we arenotgetting married. I’m sorry if last night gave you the wrong impression, but we arenothappening. Personally, I can assure you—I would make aterriblewife.”
He looks at me like I just told him that one plus one equals six. He gives his men a look, and they shrug in response.
“You? Why the fuck would I want to marry you?” he says as he cackles to himself.
And now I’m thoroughly fucking confused.
Wait a second. If it’s not me he wants to marry, then…
“It is her.” He points to Percy.
All of us are looking at Percy now to see her reaction. And as much as I feel bad for her, I feel a whole lot more relieved that it isn’t me that he wants to marry.
Mob boss would likely be a better husband than Eggsy, though. So I’ll give him that.
“Sweetie, I hate to burst your giant bubble, but we’re not getting married, either. Thanks for the offer, but that’s a hard pass from me,” Percy says.
You know what kind of man doesn’t take rejection well?
Well, all of them really, but right now the only one I’m worried about is the Thai mob boss who’s looking like Percy just insulted his very existence.
“Percy, love, what are you doing? Just marry the bloke. We’ll get this sorted out later,” Liam suggests in what he thinks is a subtle whisper of advice that isn’t so subtle at all.
“Nope. Fuck that. I’m done with this shit. Like,superdone. I’m ready to go home,” Percy replies, having none of it.
Our love-struck captor is ordering his men around in Thai.
He’s embarrassed and now thoroughly pissed off as a result.
“I’m not having a good day, ladies,” he informs us. “In fact—I didn’t have a very good night, either. My casino was hustled for over a million baht—”
We all look over at Liam, who looks all too pleased with himself.
“I was squirted on by a foul-mouthed slut—”
At least I have the dignity to blush.
“And someone kidnapped my best joint-rolling monkey—so I’m not in the mood to be toldnoright now.”
I’m fairly certain that I know what’s coming next. The armed Thai gansters put us all down on our knees.
For the second time today, I feel the barrel of a gun against the back of my head.
I’m fighting back tears right now. This is some incredibly heavy shit. I’m about to die. For real. And there’s nothing I can do to about it.
And it’s all because of Lock. And Liam. And okay, maybe a little bit because of me.
And well, fuck, because of Percy, too!
“One last chance, my lovely pink cherry blossom,” the gross man persists, growling. “Marry me.”
“There is no way she’s going to say yes, hon,” Mysti pipes up. “Y’see, I’m officially cursed, which means there’s no way out of this. So I’m afraid you’re just going to have to kill us, and I’d prefer if you got along with it.”
Oh, for the love of god, Mysti. This is not the fucking time.
“Yeah,” Percy agrees. “I’d literally rather die.”
“Percy!” I yell. “Seriously? You’re going to let us all die over this? Have you ever heard of a divorce?”
