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CHAPTER5
SEVEN YEARS
On Friday afternoon, I picked up Maizy for our playdate. It had become a tradition to go to a movie and then stop off at Pizza Zone. It gave my mom a break from reality so she could get a manicure or just take a nap. Maizy was such a good-hearted little girl, one who from an early age considered the feelings of others. She didn’t like to see anyone cry and always cleaned up without being asked. Maizy had her moments like any six-year-old, but she was my Maze, and I loved her unconditionally.
“Lexi?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I go play now?”
I took another sip of my soda and admired her sparkly blue eyes. Wes and I got the brown hair and eyes in the family, but Maizy was a little ray of sunshine who had the same enviable features as our mom.
I glanced at her plate. “Are you finished?”
She had only taken a few bites of cheese pizza and I knew the excitement of the noisy games and hyperactive kids was too much to resist.
Maizy flashed a bright smile. She’d lost one of her bottom baby teeth and the Tooth Fairy had paid her a visit.
I hated to be one of those people who force-fed a child, so I nodded and watched her run over to the play zone. It was a walled-off area with plastic tunnels and ropes to swing on. She kicked off her shoes by the entrance and waved before disappearing inside the first series of yellow tunnels with the other kids. Maizy mostly played by herself because even though she had just turned six, she hadn’t yet come out of her shell. It seemed like yesterday we were changing her diapers, and before too long, I’d probably be helping her pick out a dress for prom.
I thought about Austin. Had he gone after Michael, or was I reading too much into that? Austin had no right appearing out of nowhere and fighting my battles, although I was glad he’d shown up when he had. Still, he’d never once tried to contact me in all the time after Wes’s death. It shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did, but he was such an integral part of our family that it was as if I’d lost two people that year instead of one. Austin had parents and siblings, but I’d never met them. I wasn’t even sure if they lived in the area.
I twirled my pigtails around my fingers while watching Maizy swing on one of the ropes.
Before I could draw a breath, Beckett slid in the chair in front of me. “Knew I’d find you here,” he said smugly.
Beckett had on that damn T-shirt I hated, the one that saidMeatHead. It was just the sheer principle of a man proudly labeling himself as an idiot.
“Beckett,” I warned. “Let’s not do this here.”
He narrowed his lashless eyes. “You got a right to be mad, Lexi. I fucked up. But I’m not perfect—no one is. You’ve got your fair share of baggage, and I’ve got mine.”
I crossed my arms and leaned back in the plastic chair. “Are you calling your infidelity…baggage?”
He snorted, staring at my head. “You look ridiculous with your hair that way. Take it down so we can have a real conversation. I can’t talk to you like this.”
“How about you not talk to me at all? We’re done, Beckett. That’s nonnegotiable.”
“Lex,” he said, placing his hand firmly on my arm.
I bolted out of the chair and headed in the other direction. Leaving him was one of the most difficult things I had done in my life, and we had already gone through all this. Now he was picking at a scab and trying to make it bleed again.
“Lex, wait,” he called out. I passed the pinball machines and he caught up with me by skeeball.
I turned around, tired of all the running. “Stop following me, Beck. It’s creeping me out. I don’t want to keep reliving this over and over. Don’t you get it? There’s no going back and undoing what you did.”
He gripped my shoulders. “Look, babe, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. It was a mistake and I won’t—”
“Save it,” I interrupted. “You’ll never know what that did to me, and it’s not something I can easily get over. Maybe some women can, but you’ve always known that was the deal breaker for me. Not only would I always be wondering where you were when you came home late, but I’d always know that I wasn’t enough for you. I loved you, Beckett. I trusted you, and you broke that.”
His grip tightened when I tried to shrug him away. “Lex, you know you’re the only girl for me, right? You’re the girl I want to marry.”
I snapped.
My hands flew out in a karate-chop move I must have seen on one too many Kung Fu movies. A stunned look crossed his face when his arms were knocked away.
“Fine! Goddammit, I’m just trying to make it right again. Fuckingbitch!” he yelled, storming out of the room.
