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Chapter Seventeen
‘Thank you...for this.’ Hattie idly watched Izzy and Jim as he taught her how to scatter a handful of breadcrumbs to the enormous gaggle of assorted waterfowl which had gathered around them. Jasper had pushed the boy’s chair to the pond’s edge once their confectionary repast was done and then had tactfully withdrawn to allow the children to be children. For all his pride and stand-offish belligerence towards the two adults, young Jim seemed to have the patience of a saint where Isabel was concerned. ‘I don’t think he has been outside in weeks.’
He turned to smile at her and was grateful she continued to watch the water because his breath caught in his throat. With the May sunshine picking out the stray strands of gold in her hair and the gentle heat warming the apples of her cheeks, she looked gorgeous. Having discarded her thin pelisse as well as her bonnet, the light fabric of her summer gown hugged her curves like a second skin. The square neck revealed a minimum amount of cleavage but enough for him to enjoy the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she relaxed back on her hands. ‘The fresh air will do him good. It will do us all good.’
Jasper’s mood was already lighter. ‘It’s therapeutic, isn’t it?’
She nodded then closed her eyes and tilted her face to bask in the sun, unwittingly showing him such a perfect profile his finger longed to trace it. She had the most kissable lips he had ever seen. Pink and plump and begging to be plundered. ‘I had forgotten quite how much myself. I used to always be outside and yet nowadays I seem to always be inside.’
‘Says the woman who claims to walk at least a mile a day.’ He wrenched his eyes away from her mouth long enough to check on Izzy before his lack of willpower dragged them back.
‘I do—because I have to. But that is essential exercise not fun like riding or revelling in the glorious sunshine as I am now.’ Still with her eyes closed she inhaled deeply then sighed the air out, the motion so sensual, her features suffused with such pleasure, his body and imagination reacted simultaneously.
Once the image of a similarly relaxed and sated Hattie lying on his pillow, her wheaten curls fanned out in a haphazard halo around her head, her delightful breasts rising and falling beneath the gauzy cover of his sheets lodged itself in his mind, there was no evicting it. He knew already that image would haunt his nights for weeks to come, stored in his memory alongside the image of her most intimate smile and the sultry feel of her body plastered against his as he had helped her down from the wall.
In another life, the one before Izzy, he wouldn’t have resisted the temptation to make that fantasy a reality. But now, he had to do the decent thing and settle for the daydream. Wonder what it would be like to taste her lips, peel her clothes off layer by layer and explore her lush body slowly with his hands rather than succumb to the overwhelming urge to do so.
‘I will endeavour to spend more time enjoying the outside from this day forward exactly as I used to. I shall sit for at least half an hour here and gather my thoughts in the sunshine out of sight of the rest of society. That shall be my next milestone.’ She sat up straight and smiled at him as she tapped her forehead. ‘I always need one to aim towards.’
‘Milestones?’
‘One of Dr Cribbs’s wise philosophies, which I now follow to the letter—like walking that daily mile—as he has never steered me wrong.’ She plucked a daisy from the grass and twirled it in her fingers. ‘When the journey ahead seems vast and daunting, it is always easier to break it into smaller achievable chunks. Much like stopping at different inns along the Great North Road on your way to Scotland. We planned my recovery together in much the same way, never mentioning the final destination which seemed so unachievable in the distance and instead focusing on the next achievable milestone in getting Hattie back.’
She held up the daisy. ‘The first was to get through the procedure.’ She picked another daisy. ‘The second was to allow the bones to heal again.’ As she explained, she chained the two tiny flowers together then sourced a third. ‘The next was to be able to stand on my leg, then strengthen the muscles, then to learn to walk with crutches.’ With each mentioned milestone she picked another flower and began attaching it to the previous stem. ‘And here we are.’
‘I suspect you have omitted several important milestones in that summary.’
She shrugged but didn’t elaborate. ‘It’s been a long journey. Two years’ worth. Not helped by my own impatience and tendency to try to jump ahead several milestones when I know that never works, and then disappointing myself because I failed to get there as fast as I wanted.’
‘But you found Hattie at the end of it.’
‘Most of her.’ She sighed as she threaded some more daisies together. ‘What is left of her, and by that I mean the old her. The new Hattie is still a work in progress. The same in many ways but necessarily different.’ Unconsciously she rubbed her leg, her expression more wistful than sad. ‘As one door closes, we must force open another and grab what is behind it by the lapels. Find new paths and new milestones to make up for those we can never return to.’
‘Like dancing?’
‘Dancing, running, climbing. Galloping across the fields with the wind in my hair.’ Only the last was said with regret, and as if she had revealed too much she focussed on the delicate chain she was making. Behaviour that was telling yet Jasper understood he needed to tread carefully while he challenged it.
Rather than search her face for the truth, he snapped his own daisy from the lawn and ensured his response was casual. ‘If you can sit on a chair, you can sit on a horse, Hattie.’
‘I know... I could ride if I wanted to...’ She dropped the daisy chain in her lap and stared towards the pond. ‘But I don’t.’ Her smile was wistful. ‘After the trauma of the accident, despite my annoying tendency to look too far ahead, that is one of the few milestones I am not ready to contemplate yet. I shall never say never as I am too stubborn for that but...’ her eyes slanted to his, as honest and open and vulnerable as he had ever seen them ‘...for now, I console myself that I will get back in the saddle again the moment I need to. The new Hattie isn’t as devil-may-care as the old one. She is not as brave.’
‘For the record, having had the pleasure of meeting both, I much prefer the new Hattie to the old.’ Without thinking, he cupped her cheek before he fastened his little, floppy daisy behind her ear. ‘She is resilient and resourceful, compassionate, kind and funny, so clever she is wise beyond her years and is, without a doubt, the best, bravest person I have ever met.’
‘Are you and Hattie going to get married, Papa?’ Neither of them had noticed Izzy approach, and they both jumped apart in surprise at her voice so close.
Poor Hattie blushed wide-eyed at the question, clearly horrified by it, but being four, Isabel failed to notice. ‘Only my mama promised that one day I would have a proper family to live with and brothers and sisters too. And Mrs Mimms thinks Hattie would make me a good new mother and is convinced the pair of you like one another because she said to Cook that you always look at Hattie as if you want to eat her for breakfast.’
He considered countering with a denial but was too mortified that he had been so transparent, and was so unnerved by that, to trust it wouldn’t come out sounding false and thereby confirm he was guilty as charged.
So, instead, he settled for ruffling Izzy’s curls, laughing for all he was worth while willing himself not to blush like a virgin. ‘Clearly I need to have a few stern words with Mrs Mimms and Cook for wasting time on silly gossip. You have all clearly gone daft in the head if you think I would ever marry Hattie!’ He jumped up and avoided running for the camouflage of the trees in order to die quietly by doing his best impression of a criminal not caught red-handed.
With his hands on his hips, he bent towards the young blabbermouth. ‘Why have you abandoned poor Jim?’ Deflection was his last hope of not spontaneously combusting with embarrassment.
‘We ran out of bread for the ducks.’
‘Then let them eat cake!’ Like a drowning man grabbing ineffectually at some random passing driftwood in the hope that it could save him, he snatched up the remains of the fruitcake and marched it down to the water’s edge as if his life depended upon it.
‘That was a nice outing yesterday, wasn’t it?’ Hattie smiled at Jim as she settled him by the window despite feeling anything but happy a full day on. ‘That hour of sun has brought the colour back to your cheeks.’
