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“Everything, Cosy. Everything and anything. I promised Doctor Eric I would take care of you and I don’t make promises I can’t or don’t want to keep. It is my privilege and my pleasure to care for you. It’s your job to get well, and to tell me or Ian if you need anything. Now you’re going to be still while I get the diaper caddy and when you’re all fresh and clean, we’re going to get some food into your tummy. You must be starving.”
She wasn’t, but she wasn’t going to volunteer that. It hadn’t taken her long to learn she should never say no to food because she could never be sure when she’d get her next meal.
Hudson got out of bed and grabbed a basket from the top of the dresser and brought it over, then pulled back the blankets from one side of the bed and rolled a mat out before uncovering her from the blankets and shifting her until her backside was on top of the mat.
“Here, babygirl. Want to hold your bunny?”
He handed her the stuffed rabbit they’d given her while she was in the hospital and she took it, shyly. The bunny was so soft and beautiful with her brown fur and her pink nose and her floppy ears—she even had whiskers. Plus the minty green bow. Was the bow sewn on or could she take it off?
Cosima was so enraptured with the first stuffed animal she’d had in years that she hadn’t noticed Hudson undoing her diaper or taking it away. But she sure as hell noticed when he touched between her legs.
It wasn’t like he’d been rough which is part of why it was so shocking. Also, the wipe that was between his skin and hers was a little chilly. But mostly it was his gentleness that threw her off, and she gasped. Hudson immediately took his hand away and looked at her over the bunny she had clutched to her chest.
“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No. I was just surprised. I’m alright.”
“Good. If we ever do something that hurts or you need to stop, you just say so.”
“Okay,” she mumbled.
She believed Hudson but it was foreign to be able to put a stop to something she didn’t like or that hurt. Master had spent most of the past eight years only doing things to her that hurt her, humiliated her, degraded her. Only caring about how she felt insofar as he wanted her to feel bad.
“I’m going to finish cleaning you up now.”
She nodded, still clutching her bunny while Hudson wiped between her legs with the soft, damp cloth. It felt…good? Not sexy good, justgood. She tried to concentrate on that and not on knowing Hudson was seeing scars from where Master had cut her, allowed someone to practice piercing on her, burned her.
Hudson didn’t seem upset though? Which was a relief after the looks she’d seen while at the hospital. She knew people pitied her, but she felt like they pitied her because she was broken and scarred and ugly. Even if she was, she didn’t like feeling that way.
Hudson put her in a fresh diaper like he did this all the time and—maybe he did?
“Hudson?”
He looked up at her just as he patted her tummy, his brown eyes warm and his brown hair flopping over his forehead. “Yeah, teapot?”
“Mmm, do you—have you—”
Frustration twisted her mouth and her heart raced. Questioning was not something she was allowed to do. But Hudson wasn’t Master. He seemed tolikeit when she talked, when she asked questions, when she expressed wants or needs.
“Go ahead,” he encouraged. “You can ask me anything, anytime, always.”
His big hands framed her hips and it was so nice how he touched her—firm but gentle, like he was supporting her, not trying to crush her. Even though he could, easily.
She still rolled her lips between her teeth and had to tell the cowering girl inside her that this was different; they weren’t with Master anymore.
“Am I the first girl you’ve put in diapers?”
A flush heated her face, but she was proud of getting the question out.
“No, babygirl. Definitely not. You remember Ian and Ryker and I own the club you went to?” She nodded. “Ian and I have clients who hire us to either teach them things about kink and fetish stuff, or they don’t have a partner and they still want to experience different things like age play. So I’ve put lots of little girls and little boys in diapers.”
“Oh.”
“You’re very special, though. Sometimes we babysit for littles when their mommies or daddies have to go out of town for a few days but we’ve never had a—”
Hudson’s mouth snapped shut and she didn’t like it. Made her feel like she’d made him upset or there was something he didn’t want her to know.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I asked. Please don’t be angry with me,” she whispered, and Hudson’s face went from shuttered closed to wide open. Then he was scooping her up and sitting up against the headboard with her cradled in his lap.
