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Chapter Sixteen
Cosima
Once her bath was over and her daddy had dried her off with soft towels and a few minutes of the blowdryer for her close-cropped hair, he brought her back out to the playroom and laid her down on the changing table, her bottom at the very edge.
“Now you’re all clean on the outside, I’m going to get you clean on your insides too. Doctor Eric said while your tummy is getting better you should have an enema every day, and then eventually once per week to help your digestive system run like it should.”
She tried her best to stay calm and still while he strapped her ankles and calves into stirrups and spread her legs, fastened a belt over her tummy too. It helped when Daddy handed her her bunny.
“Here, pretty girl. Play with your bunny while Daddy cleans out your bottom. This might feel strange and you might get a mild cramp or two but it’s not meant to hurt so let me know if it’s painful, okay?”
She nodded, knowing she wouldn’t say a single word. If Daddy said it wasn’t going to hurt, it wouldn’t. And if it did, it would be such a minuscule amount of pain she’d be able to take it no problem.
Cosima sat her bunny on her tummy and looked into the big black eyes, held her soft paws. Her beautiful bunny should really have a name.
She stiffened when she heard the snick of a cap being opened but breathed through the anxiety as Daddy stroked her inner thigh and crooned to her.
“There you go, babygirl. Just relax. Daddy’s not going to hurt you. I’m going to push my finger inside your bottom and get you nice and loosened up to take the nozzle for your enema.”
Master had shoved a lot of things up her ass and he’d rarely bothered to prepare her in any way. Hudson wasn’t like that, not at all, but she still had to close her eyes and hold onto her bunny tight, tight and repeat over and over “Daddy’s not Master, Daddy’s not Master. He’s not going to hurt me. Daddy’s not Master.”
She hadn’t meant to say it out loud but she must’ve because Daddy was by her side, stroking her freshly washed hair, looking terribly concerned.
“Oh, Cosy. I’d never hurt you. Never ever. Here…”
He unstrapped her from the table and carried her over to the big rocking chair, settled her in his lap and tugged a blanket over her. She always liked being in his lap, being held by him, but she also liked to be well-behaved. No trouble. Obedient. A good girl, just like he said. Her face got hot knowing he’d stopped because of her. That wasnotgood behavior.
“You didn’t have to stop, Daddy. I’m fine,” she promised, willing him to believe her because she didn’t want to be difficult.
The way his dark brown eyes shone, though, she didn’t think he was falling for it.
“I don’t want you to befine, babygirl. I don’t want you to feel like you have work through those big feelings all by yourself. You’ve been through a lot, more than anyone ever should suffer. You deserve to be happy and relaxed. If you’re not, it’s my job to help you get there.”
Cosima wasn’t convinced she did deserve those things, after having been told the opposite for years upon years. So the best she could manage in response was “Okay?”
Hudson’s mouth pinched but she didn’t think his irritation was directed at her. It still made her feel bad.
“So here’s what we’re going to do. Did you ever have a safeword?”
She shook her head, knowing he wasn’t going to like that and ducking her head so she wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in his face. Why hadn’t she insisted? Why hadn’t she run as soon as she knew Master was bad for her? Or just plain bad?
Not that she had known much when she was sixteen. She’d had to rely on furtive internet searches to learn anything, but she had read about safewords. It was just that when Judah told herrealslaves didn’t need safewords, she’d believed him. And more so, would’ve done anything to please him so he would show her all the things she so desperately wanted to know for real like he’d promised he would. Such a stupid, stupid girl.
“Hey. Look at me, Cosy.”
She did, not knowing how even Hudson was going to make this okay.
“It’s not your fault that he betrayed your trust. He violated every rule there’s ever been about being a safe and caring top. He took advantage of your desperation to explore and your trusting nature. I’m not going to do that. From now on, you’re going to agree on a safeword with anyone you play with. Got me?”
His assurances didn’t fix everything and maybe nothing would ever make her feel like she hadn’t been the biggest idiot in the whole world to trust Judah, but it was still nice to hear that someone kind and good like Hudson didn’t blame her for Judah’s actions. “Um, okay.”
“What’s the silliest word you can think of? One that makes you happy when you hear it. I personally like pachyderm, so that’s my safeword.”
“You have one too?”
“Sure do. Tops need safewords too.”
“But you’re so big. How could anyone hurt you?”
