AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It was his turn to give her a squeeze, and then he peeled her away to look in her eyes. He was so wonderful to look at, her daddy. All strong and big and friendly but also intense. And for the first time, she saw the deep pools of insecurity lurking beneath his dark blue irises.
“You’d think at some point I would’ve grown up, would’ve figured out that it didn’t fucking matter what people thought of me or if I fit in. Fit in to what, exactly? And I know if my friends didn’t want to be my friends anymore because of how I dressed or the kind of car I drove then they weren’t really my friends. But that embarrassed broke-ass kid is still in here, you know?”
He put a hand over his heart and she could almost feel the ache. Felt it echo in her own chest. “Yeah, I know what that’s like.”
“I know you do, lil bit. I know.”
Vance cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead, so gentle it hurt.
When he drew away again, he stroked her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, looking like his heart was crumbling in his chest.
“So I owe you an apology. Not just for not telling you all this sooner, but for not being the man you deserve. I’d like to promise that I’ll never freak out again but I think we both know that’s not how deep-rooted fears and insecurities work, right? They don’t disappear overnight.”
“No, they don’t,” she agreed as she leaned into his touch. Hurts and fears could get buried under other things, scab over, but did they ever really go away? Maybe for some people, they hadn’t for her. “And maybe they don’t disappear at all. I’ll never not miss Damien. And it still makes me feel shitty when people make fun of the way I dress. But that’s my knee-jerk reaction. Then bigger, wiser me says this is who I am, those narrow-minded buzzkills probably don’t let themselves have any fun, and they can live out the rest of their miserable lives in their unfeeling husks.”
As she’d hoped, Vance let out one of big belly laughs that shook the both of them.
“You’re the best, poppet. The absolute best, and I love you so much. If you give me another shot, I swear… Well, I don’t know what exactly. But I promise to work real hard at being a better, braver man for you. And I want you to take over part of the garden if you want. Put up some bat boxes. Grow some spooky and poisonous plants, we can learn how to take care of them together. We’ll get Jethro to special order them if he doesn’t have them in stock.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, Lil. For real.”
“Can—can I have a corvid aviary? Not, like, keep them in a cage. They can come and go as they please, but have structures and toys for them?”
“Sure. We won’t have to ever decorate for Halloween, and I hear corvids are very protective of their friends. Let’s just make sure they know I’m one of their friends too, yeah?”
She giggled and kissed his cheek above his beard before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tight again. “Of course. They’ll know how much I love you. Everyone will know how much I love you.”
“So is that a yes? We’ll give this another go? You’re going to have to help me learn how to not be so afraid of my own shadow, but…”
“I’m really good with shadows and the dark,” she told him, her heart feeling like it might burst. Yes, she needed him to be strong and protective and dominant but she didn’t need him to be perfect. She’d gladly teach her daddy how to have more fun, help him figure out who he really wanted to be when he grew up.
“You’re my moon and stars, lil bit. My whole bleeding heart.”
“And you’re my sunshine, Daddy. So yes, I want to be yours. Yes, I’ll stay. I promise I’ll love your dark side and your light. This is going to be such an adventure. We are going to be such an adventure.”
