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“About time you showed up.” Peyton quips as I set my bag down across from her. “You’re lucky I don’t have problems eating by myself. A more insecure girl would have your head, Skyler Mitchell.” I found her on the quad, parked on a picnic bench taking selfies in between bites of her kale salad. She takes in my expression and blanches. “Oh shit. Run into Aidan?”
“Oh yeah.” I prop my elbows up on the table and put my head in my hands. “I am so fucked.” I remember that I’m naked under my skirt. Literally.
“What happened?”
“I’m in his class.”
Peyton goes through a series of emotions that I can read all over her face, from shock to worry to dread as she rubs her nose ring. “I thought…you said you didn’t see his name?”
“There was a last minute change of Professor. He walked in. He saw me. Froze. I turned fifty shades of red but he played it off well. After class, he dragged me to his office, proceeded to hand my ass to me for ten minutes and then we fucked without a condom and he came in my mouth.”
Peyton chokes on her salad and begins coughing before downing a large gulp of water. “You guys fucked?”
“Yeah.” My stomach turns and for a second I wonder if I should eat something, but I have a feeling it’ll come right back up.
“Without a condom?”
“It was…impulsive.”
“Clearly,” she snorts.
“He says that was the end.”
“Well, maybe just ‘till the end of the semester?”
“He’s angry at me for lying to him. I think this is the end period.”
She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “The holier than thou approach, I see.” I lay my hands flat on the table and rest my forehead against them. “Sky, I’m sorry.”
I’m exhausted. It’s only noon and I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for a week. I’m humiliated and hurt and pissed at myself, and yet I can’t control the throbbing between my legs that he’d caused when he rubbed me to an orgasm not ten minutes ago. I’m very aware that I don’t have underwear on, and every time the wind blows I feel the breeze tickle my wet sex and I have to stifle a moan.
“Go figure, the best sex of my life and I only get it twice.”
“There will be other guys. We’ll go out tonight! First week of the semester, there’s always tons of parties.”
I pick my head up and shake it back and forth. “Peyton, I’m really not in the mood.”
She purses her lips before nodding once and sliding her sunglasses over her eyes. “Fine.” She points her fork at me. “You have one day to be sad. Tomorrow, we party. Alright? Come on Sky, like you say, life goes on.”
It was the first time I’d ever hated hearing those words.
I spent the evening in bed after doing a bit of studying from the day’s classes. Including a certain Doctor Reed’s. I’d eventually given up and climbed into bed with Sex and the City and a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. It isn’t until halfway through Samantha getting nailed by some hot random guy that I realize, I’m fucking horny. My mind drifts back to his arms wrapped around me, his cock inside of me. His bare cock. I had never felt anything so intimate. Nothing between us. No barriers. I let out a breath as I think about how reckless we were. How much I wanted to be reckless again. And again. And again.
My fingers itch to text him. That familiar tingle that comes when you’re really into a guy and you feel flutters in your stomach at the idea of talking to him.
He’s not going to answer, Skyler. He’s probably already blocked you.
I’m his student though, what if I have a question about the class?
Then you email him like students are advised, my subconscious sneers.
Just as my hands find my phone I remember Stella’s words of wisdom. “If you’re thinking about sending a risky text to someone you probably shouldn’t, masturbate first. If you cum and you still want to, go for it. But a horny mind is a dangerous thing. Rub one out before you text.” I can hear her words clear as day as she adjusts those glasses that has every guy in a ten mile radius referring to her as a sexy librarian. “This does not apply if you’re drunk. If that’s the case…delete the text after you send so that tomorrow, ‘sober you’ isn’t privy to the damage.”
I drop my phone like it’s on fire and my hand flies to the space between my legs, sliding my hand under the elastic of my shorts. “Fuck. Aidan. WHY?!” I whine as I rub my finger over my clit and further down to the space inside. “I can’t even fucking finger myself the way he does it.” I throw my covers off me, letting the cool air hit my legs as I try to picture Aidan’s mouth between my legs. I open one eye praying that he appears before me.
“Che cosa desideri, Bella?” I can almost hear his words. What is my desire? You’re my desire, Aidan. Fuck, I want you so god damn much.
“Tell me how much.” My clit pulses as I picture him in his office, so close I can taste his breath, hear his heart beating in his chest. His voice is almost pained as he looks me over, the regret all over his perfect features as realization washes all over his face. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Skyler.”
