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“No.” His word is strong like there’s no room for explanation or rebuttal.
“But, Aidan…”
“No Skyler, absolutely not.”
“But…” I don’t even try to stop the tears from flowing down my face. “But I love you.” My words cause a knee-jerk reaction. He presses off the door instantly and frames my face with his hands. He doesn’t say anything, he just searches my face with those blue eyes. Reading me. Seeing me. “Don’t…I mean, do you feel the same?” I’m not sure what prompted me to ask, but I have to know.
He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “If I tell you I feel the same, that makes this so much harder.” His words aren’t I love you, but I hear the sentiment, and a part of me wishes he would have just said he didn’t love me. To be honest, I think that would hurt less.
I choke back a sob before pulling away. “I’m supposed to stay away from you for four years? And then what? We be together? Let’s say I could hold out ‘till then, would you even wait for me? I can’t expect you to not date other women between now and then. You’re gorgeous. Women throw themselves at you.”
“Tu sei l’unica per me.” You’re the only one for me.
“Cut the shit, Aidan. That’s not what I asked.” I stomp my foot, not letting him use Italian to get out of this.
He looks at me, surprised by my outburst. “I belong to you, Skyler.”
“Then don’t give me up!”
“What other choice do we have? I can’t do this for four years. We’ll get caught. We were seconds from getting caught earlier. Could you imagine if he knocked while I was nailing you against the door? With the scent of our sex in the air and my dick hanging out of my pants. I’m reckless when it comes to you, Skyler. I can’t think, and it’s going to ruin everything. My career, your future.”
I swallow and rub my hand across my tattoo. La vita va avanti.
Life goes on.
Life goes on.
Life goes on.
“I’m so stupid,” I whisper, the tears falling down my face. “I always do this. Get involved too quickly and intensely. I throw myself into things without thinking of the repercussions and then I get hurt because I do things with my whole heart.” My lip trembles and I don’t know if I’m angrier at myself for getting into this mess or Aidan for not stopping things before they got this far.
“Baby, you’re not stupid.” He wraps his arms around me and, despite the fact that I know this is the end, I let him hold me while I begin to mourn Aidan and Skyler. A love that burned fast and bright before exploding into stars that faded into darkness.
A shooting star.
“I don’t want this to end.” I make one final plea, hoping that I can convince him that we are worth the risk. “Please.”
“Il mio cuore batte solo per te.” My heart only beats for you, he whispers into my hair. His voice is quiet, but my sobs have slowed and I hear him clear as day.
“Tell me you love me.” I look up at him and the face he gives me breaks my heart.
“If I say that, I’ll never let you go.”
“But you do…love me.”
He swallows and lets out a breath breaking the connection between us. “I should go.”
“Aidan.” I take a step towards him as he takes a step back.
“I’m trying to do the right thing. Let me.”
“By breaking my heart? How is that the right thing?”
“One day you’ll thank me, I promise, Skyler.”
“No! Don’t you dare make this about teaching me some lesson I’ll understand down the road. Like I’m too naive to understand now. Love knows no age, Aidan. I love you and I know you love me too. We can get through this…together. We will make it work!” I hate myself for sounding so pitiful. My voice so desperate and pleading as I try my best to keep my heart from breaking. Maybe I really am too young.
“I’m sorry, Skyler, I just…can’t.” I hear his words but his body language doesn’t match. His posture is tense and rigid, his breathing labored, and his eyes give him away. Piercing blue eyes that used to heat me with a glance are dull, lifeless and empty. The hurt behind them is so evident. Tortured orbs that crush me because the pain in them is a direct reflection of mine.
