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“I was your counselor…they would say I took advantage of the situation.”
“You may have been a counselor, but you are a man first. An unbelievably gorgeous man.” She smiles. “And I’m a woman who was attracted to you. Things happened. I don’t think you manipulated me or used your position to influence me. You weren’t telling me in between thrusts that I was making the right decisions for my life. That your dick was the road to enlightenment or whatever psychobabble shit you used to spew at Matt and me before I called you on it.” She giggles and I pinch her sides at her smartass mouth.
“Watch it, woman.”
She giggles, but just as fast as her laughter comes, it’s replaced by a frown. “So, what happens if you tell them and…they go to the board?”
“Then I deal with it. Ethically it’s the right thing to do, Charley. I took an oath,” I tell her honestly.
As unfortunate as it is, especially if Matt never breathes a word of what he knows, I’ve come to the startling realization that I still need to turn myself in. Maybe if I throw myself at the mercy of the board, they will only suspend me temporarily.
“I guess I was just hoping you could get out of this without losing anything.”
“I’m not doing anything tomorrow, Charley, but it is a very real thing I’ll be needing to take care of. I promise I’ll discuss it with you first, okay?”
“Okay…”
I can tell something else is on her mind. Talk to me, baby.
“What are you thinking?”
“Well…” She chews on the inside of her cheek and looks at me. “Why didn’t you tell me about the email? Is it because you weren’t sure what you were going to do?”
“What?” I say my eyebrows furrowing together. “Charley, of course not.”
“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I don’t blame you for wanting to think it over.”
Is she insane? Does she really think I could ever give her up?
“There’s nothing to think over. I want to be with you. End of story.”
“You say that now…” she whispers.
“Forever.” I pull her hands to my mouth.
“I know that you say that you’re okay with losing your practice, that you won’t resent me, but…you don’t know what the future will hold. You don’t know how you’ll feel in ten years if this is still being held over your head.”
“Charley, I mean in the same respect, you don’t know how you are going to feel in ten years. No one knows what the future holds, that’s not a reason to turn your back on something great or to be afraid to pursue something. I know that you are worried about the future but…we love each other.” I brush my knuckles down her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I’m just ready for next week,” she adds.
“When you’re a free woman,” I tell her, picking up her left hand and pressing a kiss on her ring finger. “I can’t wait ‘till this holds the ring I give you.” The tears are rolling down her face rapidly and I narrow my eyes curiously. “What’s wrong, baby? Why are you crying?”
“I just can’t believe that this is happening. Finally, we can be together and for the first time in…years. I’m happy,” she whispers.
Happy.
Maybe my counseling did some good after all. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. And now she is.
Finally.
FINALLY,I’M FREE.
I finish signing my name on the documents officially granting me my divorce. I’ve just dotted the last “I” and crossed the last “T”, literally and figuratively. I set my pen down and look up at the judge who’s sitting at the head of the table in the conference room of my lawyer’s office. I pull the two small boxes out of my purse that hold my wedding ring and my engagement ring and set them on top of the papers. The red Cartier boxes are a stark contrast to the sea of black words on the crisp white paper. I chance a glance at Matt and he’s staring at me as if he’s ready to rip me apart. I swallow nervously, wondering if he’s going to bring up my infidelity as I slide the papers to my lawyer and he passes them to his lawyer. Matt’s eyes never leave mine as he glides his pen across the page, signing his name before he slams the pen down. His eyes are cold and dark, but what’s scarier is that they appear almost empty.Lifeless.
And just like that, I’m divorced.
You could cut the tension with a knife, it’s so thick. I hate that things ended like this, that Matt hates me, that I hate him. That the good times we had are so overshadowed by the last two years and even more specifically the last month.
