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He’s giving up on us.
“The whole time you were still married, it used to drive me crazy wondering if you were sleeping with him. If you were letting him touch you, kiss you, see you the way that you said you only letmesee you.”Is that what this is about? He thinks I was sleeping with Matt once we were together?
“I didn’t!” My eyes are wide as I shake my head vigorously back and forth. “What makes you think that?”
“But you did at some point,” he says sadly.
My face morphs into a look of confusion. “Well yes, we were married, Will. But…oncewestarted, he never touched me. I’ve belonged to you since the moment you kissed me.” I shiver at the mere memory of him sliding through my folds for the first time. “Even before then.” An involuntary blush finds my cheeks, as I think about how my infatuation with my marriage counselor made it so I didn’t even want Matt to touch me.
“Seeing you fuck him didn’t destroy me, Charlotte.”
“Wha—what?”Seeing me? He’s drunk. What in the world is he talking about?
“I shouldn’t have watched it. I should have burned it when I got it. But…I don’t know, call it morbid curiosity.” He shrugs as he lets his head fall, his chin connecting with his chest.
“I don’t understand.” I sniffle as I try to get a control on the tears that are still rapidly falling, hearing him profess his wariness about everything.
Me. Us. Our love.
He pulls a USB drive from behind me that I didn’t realize was sitting on his desk and plays with it in his fingers. I look down at what he’s holding and look up at him. I see pure defeat in Will’s eyes and it shakes me to my very core.
“What is this?” I ask.
“Wells sent me this. Of course, before I watched it, I didn’t know. I should break it.” He balls it into his fist, and I wonder if he’s trying to break the object that seems to have brokenhim.
“What is it?” I ask, though a part of me, somewhere deep inside knows what’s on this drive and how it might destroy the one thing—the one person I love the most.
“I had to listen to you fuck my wife, how does it feel to watch me fuck your girlfriend?”He looks up at me andI feel the blood draining from my face upon hearing his words. I feel like I’m going to be sick.
My stomach churns as waves of nausea flow through me. “Tell me you didn’t watch it,” I choke out.
“I thought seeing another man fuck the woman I love would be the hardest part. But it wasn’t. It was surprisingly easy. I mean it pissed me off, but you were married. I knew you had sex with him.” He grimaces. “But no, it was the way you looked at him. The way you came apart in his arms…the way you told him youlovedhim.Thatdestroyed me.”
The tears are sliding down my cheeks as I push myself further into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Why did you watch it!? How!? You’re never going to look at me the same!” I shriek. I don’t hear him reply and that only spurs me on further, my sobs becoming louder and more hysterical. “How could you do this!?”
“What do you mean how?”
“You knew watching this would change you…change us. Why would you do this!? Why didn’t you stop, when you saw what was on it?” I push hard against his chest, needing him to feel my pain. I grip his shirt and my head finds his shoulder.
“I know, Charley. I know. I should have stopped.”
“How long did you watch it?” I say lifting my head, my vision blurry from all of the tears that are constantly brimming under my lids.
“About two minutes. Enough to watch you come.” His hands find his hair and then he looks up at me with sad eyes. “I had to watch him make you come. I’d convinced myself he could never give you that. That only I gave you that mind-numbing pleasure. And then I had to hear you tell him you love him. I watched as the words fell from your lips. I saw the look in your eyes…You meant it.”
“I did love him, Will, once upon a time. Or at least I thought I did. You can’t punish me over the man that came before you. You more than anyone know that I have a past.”
“What does that mean?” he barks, and his aggression coupled with the stench of alcohol surrounding us, makes me wonder if now is the best time to continue this conversation.
“It just means that you know I have a past. You know I was in a relationship with someone else before you.” I shake my head. “Will…don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Push me away. I need…” I wonder what it is I need right now, when the words leave my lips on their own. “I need Dr. Montgomery right now,” I say, knowing that appealing to his reasonable side is the only way to get through this.
“He’s unavailable. You’ve got the insanely jealous boyfriend who watched his fiancé’s sex tape with her ex-husband. Don’t you see how fucked up this is?”
This is the first time he’s called me his fiancé and I can’t even enjoy the feeling that washes over me hearing the term.
