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I sigh. “So, you’re saying I just say nothing, pretend it didn’t happen?”
“That’s my vote,” J.R. says, as he leans back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.
“And if it comes out later that I knew about it, I’m fucked.”
Both of my parents are silent, and I turn to my side, and study Charley for a moment. Her head is bowed slightly, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap, and I swear I can hear her heart pounding from where I sit. “What do you think, baby?”
She looks up at me and then at my parents who’ve now turned their attention to her as well. “I think…” she starts. “Only you have to live with yourself and the choices you make. If you don’t say anything, and you get to keep everything intact, but you’re miserable and unhappy…is it worth it? I don’t want to watch this eat you alive. That’s when people turn to other vices instead of the people that love them. I don’t want to watch you spiral.”
Does she know? Can she sense the inner turmoil that is building within me? Does she know I have another vice—besides her?
“He’s stronger than that. And as his mother I resent the insinuation that he’s not,” I hear my mother say, and I don’t think for one second that Charley was calling me weak.She’s right. One hundred percent. It doesn’t matter what any of us say. It’s about whether I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror every morning.
“He’s the strongest man I know.” Charley smiles before she turns her gaze to me and rubs her hand over my jaw. “But guilt…” she trails off before she turns back to my parents. “I’ve had quite a lot of experience with guilt lately and…it will consume you.” She looks back at me and her eyes penetrate me. “I want you to do what’s best for you, and I will support whatever you need to do so long as it’s…nothing crazy. I love you. I will always support you. If we have to leave Atlanta, then we leave Atlanta. I would follow you anywhere.” She smiles and I resist the urge to pull her into my lap and kiss her with everything in me.
I settle for cupping her face and placing a gentle kiss on her lips that I hope conveys how much I love her. I let my forehead rest against hers just letting myself be calmed by her gentle breathing.
“I love you too,” I tell her.
I hear my father clear his throat and I see the pink in her cheeks as I think she may have forgotten we weren’t alone.
“It seems like you’ve got your mind made up. So, I guess the only question is—when is this going down?”
THE MEETING IS SET FORMonday, allowing me one final weekend of normalcy before I turn my life completely upside down. I hate the unknown; it makes me feel out of control, something that triggers me to drink more than usual, but I am trying my best to ignore the little voice that urges me to havejust one glass. I haven’t had a drink in two days, after I’d soaked my liver in scotch the night that J.R. and my mother stopped by and voiced their opinions while Charlotte tried to relieve her tension through a two-hour bubble bath. Once she was out, I buried myself inside of her over and over again, wringing every ounce of pleasure from her delicious little body.
It’s Saturday, and Charlotte and I have decided to spend the weekend not worrying about the future and just enjoying each other. It’s the first time we are out in the open in Atlanta as a couple, and we want to enjoy the newfound freedom. I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off Charlotte all night, her black dress that exposes tanned skin and sexy curves gives me a hard-on that I can’t shake. Lips coated in red, smile up at me over her menu. “You’re staring again.”
“It’s just because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” I look around the restaurant and catch more than a few people looking at us. “Every man is jealous that you’re here with me and not them.”
A pink tint finds her cheeks as she bites down on her lip. “You always make me feel beautiful.”
“And I will continue to do so for the rest of our lives, future Mrs. Montgomery.” Desire flashes in her eyes and I notice she squirms in her seat. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Are you wet?”
She swallows and nods her head several times as she sets her menu down. “I want you to fuck me.”
“And here I thought my tongue in your pussy right before we left would be enough to get you through the night.” My voice is low, not wanting to alert any of the patrons of our sexual banter, but equally seductive.
Her hand reaches across the table and grips my forearm. “Well, you’ve been looking at me like you want to devour me all night. You know I react to your looks. All of them. I always have.”
“Always, huh?”
She nods. “When…he would be late, and I arrived on time, you always complimented what I was wearing, particularly when I wore dresses. You told me I looked lovely, nice, I think once you told me I looked beautiful. I almost dropped to the ground and spread my legs for you right then and there. It’s why I started wearing them every time. Because I thought you liked them.”
“I love you in everything.And nothing,” I add and she giggles. “I had no idea, you noticed.”
“I noticed everything. Because…you noticed everything aboutme.”
And it was true, I had noticed everything about her, from the beginning, all I could see was her.
The waiter comes over with the bottle of champagne we ordered. I hadn’t planned to drink, but Charlotte absentmindedly said something about celebrating our first official date and asked what champagne I thought was best.
See what happens when you aren’t honest with your partner? I’d seen it time and time again in counseling. If one partner has an addiction problem—alcohol specifically—it can be the spouse without the problem that can accidentally drag them back in with something as harmless as a champagne toast.
Case in point. I look at the champagne as he pours our glasses, and I watch as the bubbles make it almost to the surface but begin to dissolve just before they begin to spill over the edge.Veuve Clicquotchampagne had become my favorite by default, having been raised thatMoetandDom Perignonwere simplytoo flashy. Besides,that’s what Ingrid and Humphrey drink in Casablanca,my mother would giggle as she downed the bubbly liquid amongst her friends.
“Cheers, baby.” She lifts her glass and holds it out for me to tap mine against and I do so without hesitation.
“Cheers to you.” I nod at her, before letting my eyes close as I take a long sip. There’s an explosion in my mouth and throughout my body as it recognizes the taste instantly.
