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“You know that I do,” I say softly, as my hand finds his face. I cup his jaw and for the first time since my divorce was finalized I see something in his eyes that unnerves me.
Uneasiness.
“Will, you know I feel the same.” I clench my muscles around him and I feel him twitch inside of me. “Should we talk about this first? Or finish?” I cock my head to the side knowing that we need to discuss where these doubts are coming from, but I also know we need this connection as well.
“You need to come,” he says as his hands find my ass. He palms them tightly, letting his fingers graze the area between my cheeks. An involuntary shiver moves through me as I feel his fingers in such an intimate place.
“What doyouneed?” I ask him knowing that his complete possession of me might be just what he needs to calm his fears.
He sits up, so that we are nose to nose but he’s still inside of me when his mouth finds the space behind my ear. He nibbles gently on the space. “I want a baby. I want to get you pregnant.Now.”
“Now?” I ask him as I pull his head away from my neck. This was the second time he’d mentioned it in a month and something tells me he isn’t going to let this go until he’d successfully knocked me up.
He nods. “You asked what I needed. That’s it. To get you pregnant. To see your belly swollen with my baby. I need to know that no one can take you from me. That you won’t leave me… even…” He trails off.
Even what? No one could take me from you, Will. How could you even think that?
“I could lose everything, Charlotte. What then?”
“We’ve talked about this, Will…I’m never going anywhere,” I tell him as my hands find his jaw. I press a kiss to his lips and I move to attempt to break our connection as I realize that this conversation can’t happen while he’s balls deep inside of me. He grips my hips again keeping me in place, my folds pressed firmly against him, as he’s completely submerged inside of me.
“It’s easy to talk about it when it’s hypotheticals. It’s a very real thing now. And I just…I don’t know how the rest of these proceedings are going to go. If they begin to be too much…you can walk away from all of this.”
My eyes widen in horror as he lays his fears all out on the table for me. He’s avoiding my gaze, his vulnerability making it difficult to look me in the eye. I grab his face and make him look at me.
“I amnevergoing anywhere, Will. You and me. Forever. No matter what. I know what I’m signing up for. I’m in this with you.” I press my lips to his and push him gently onto his back as we pick up where we left off.
The first thing I notice are the walls. They’re stark white; four stark white walls. Not eggshell, not ecru, not any of the many colors on the white spectrum I agonized over when I was redecorating the townhouse I shared with Matt. They are white and blank. No artwork, no windows, nothing, a huge contrast to Will’s office that was so warm and inviting. This feels clinical, and I’m having the startling realization that I may not be able to get through this without having a breakdown fueled by claustrophobia.
The slamming of the office door breaks me out of my thoughts as two people who I assume must be from the board enter the room. A middle aged man, and a woman that’s probably only a few years older than me sit across from me at the table.This feels like an interrogation in the making.
“Ms. Pierce, how are you today?” the man asks. “I’m Dr. Lenox and this is Dr. Norwood,” he says, gesturing to the woman on his left that is staring at me with cold, judgmental eyes.Great.“We just have a couple of questions and then you’ll be on your way.” He gives me a smile that I’ve seen before.
The infamous Doctor smile. That fake smile they give that doesn’t quite reach the eyes before they deliver that news that you just don’t want to hear. I wonder if it’s a requirement for all doctors.
“So, you do understand why you are here today?” Dr. Norwood asks, although it sounds more like an accusation. My eyes dart to hers and I see them narrow slightly.
My teeth find my bottom lip and I bite down gently not wanting to give away how nervous I am. “Yes.”
“Okay, so we’ll just jump right in then,” Dr. Lenox says as he opens up the file. “Why don’t you tell me in your own words, a little bit about your relationship with Dr. Montgomery.”
My heart flutters in my chest hearing his name, and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as the words leave my mouth. “I’m in love with him,” I say simply. “I am unbelievably in love with him,” I state more confidently, without hesitation. “I never meant to hurt anyone.Wenever meant to hurt anyone.”
“Not even your ex-husband?” Dr. Norwood asks.
“My relationship with my ex-husband was…complicated. And to be honest it’s not really your business.”
“It’s our business in part because you essentially left your husband for Dr. Montgomery.”
“That’s not true.” I shake my head. “There were monumentally huge problems in our marriage before we started counseling.”
“But you have to admit, you go to counseling to try and better your marriage. Tofixthose problems. And yet, I don’t think that’s what Dr. Montgomery did, wouldn’t you agree?”
I shrug, not knowing what to say to that. “Some problems are unfixable. Some marriages are irreparable. My ex-husband and I didn’t realize that going in. Dr. Montgomery tried, it…didn’t work.”
“So, he tried a different type of therapy?” Dr. Norwood asks, and I resist the urge to tell her to shut up with her snarky comments.
“Dr. Norwood, we are getting off track,” Dr. Lenox says. “I would like to know a little bit more about your relationship with Dr. Montgomery while you were in therapy.”
