AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I figured, given that you don’t even want to talk to me. I told him you were sleeping.”
“Don’t start.”
“Start what? You’ve barely talked to me in two days. I was trying to give you space, but are you trying to tell me something? We talked about this; you said you wouldn’t push me away. That you wouldn’t hate or resent me if things didn’t go the way you wanted.”
“Don’t make this about you, Charlotte,” he snaps as he sits up. “I don’t resent you. I’m not saying I want out, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself.” He takes a long sip of his drink.
It feels like a slap in the face hearing his words. “You being angry with yourself just means you’re having regrets…and that hurts just as much as you resenting me.”
“I just should have stopped seeing you and Wells once I started having feelings. I should have stopped counseling you and pursued you then. I knew better.”
“Dr. Marks said you shouldn’t dwell on the past,” I whisper.
“Fuck that asshole. He could have given me a lesser sentence.” My lips form a straight line. “You don’t agree?” he accuses, and I can tell that I need to get out of this now before he explodes and I’m a casualty of the explosion.
“I don’t know enough about the rules and precedent…I thought two years was standard.”
“You heard him, this was a special case.”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Will. I’m on your side. I’m always on your side,” I tell him. “You heard him, my testimony was probably what got you out of the line of fire of complete revocation.”
He looks up at me, the sadness lurking behind his blue eyes. “Thank you for that, by the way. You didn’t tell me you said that.”
I shrug. “I told you. I told the truth about everything. If I could have taken the blame for this I would have,” I tell him sadly. “I hate that this cost you so much.” His head finds my chest and I hear him breathe in deeply. I stroke the back of his head, letting my hand ghost down his back. “But I’m here. I’m here for you, Will. You can’t shut me out. Let me make this better. Or… try.”
I kiss his forehead and his arms move around me and tighten as he buries his head further into my chest. “I just want to be the best man I can for you,” he mumbles into my shirt.
“Who says that you aren’t? You are the best man I know, Will. I know you’re feeling defeated and upset and you feel like the world is against you but…I’m here. And I know this isn’t what you pictured, but two years is better than forever. Two years is nothing. There’s so much we can do in that time. Or you can do…”
“Like what?” he asks sadly.
“Marks suggested a few things…what if you wrote a book?”
“Who would want to read what I have to say?”
I’ve never known Will to be someone that would have feelings of self-loathing, but hearing his words expressing his shattered confidence hurts me deeply. “Will, there are so many things you could write. A self-help book for instance. You could give people advice…”
“On breaking up a marriage?” He snorts as he pulls his face away from my chest and looks at the ceiling.
“Hey,” I grip his jaw, pulling his gaze to mine, “you didn’t break up a marriage.” I kiss his lips gently. “You did nothing wrong,” I whisper.
He snorts again. “Okay, Charley. I did about a hundred things wrong.”
“But it led to us being together…it can’t be so wrong.” I want to convey just how much I feel that us being together is the right thing.
He cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. “Nice try.”
“Baby, I just want you to feel better. I hate seeing you like this.”
“I know, Charley. I hate being like this. I’m sorry that I’m taking it out on you.”
“You’re not, it’s okay. I just don’t want you being so hard on yourself.” I climb into his lap and stroke both of his cheeks, my thumbs stroking the skin under his eyes. “I love you and I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
His eyes study mine for a moment before he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. “You make me happy,” he whispers against my lips. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Two weeks later
My foot hasn’t stopped bouncing since I sat down, the seconds ticking by at a snail’s pace as I wait for the two minutes to be up. My eyes go back and forth between my watch and the bathroom counter. I will myself not to look at the pregnancy test until the time is up, but I’m on pins and needles wondering what it will say.
