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“Actually Montgomery, we can,” Patterson interjects. “And we are. You entered voluntarily, but you know how it works even with voluntary admission.”
“It’s one week, Will,” Tuck tells me, and I resist the urge to punch him square in the face, completely fed up with hisI’m on your siderouse.
“What are you even telling her,Mitch?” Patients aren’t technically supposed to refer to the doctors by their first names, but I’m sick of them acting like they don’t know who the fuck I am in the medical community.
“I…told her what she needed to know.”
“Which was?”Don’t beat around the fucking bush.
“That the focus is to make sure that you don’t return to alcohol. That once you leave you don’t return to old habits. We need you focused and we don’t need any distractions.”
“She’s not a distraction.”
“You’ve certainly been very focused on her and when you could talk to her since you’ve arrived,” Patterson says.
“Because she’s my fiancée and I worry about her.”
“Kip, I have it from here,” Tuck says effectively dismissing Patterson. He nods before finding the exit.
As soon as the door closes behind him, he unleashes his thoughts on me in a very unprofessional manner. “You are obsessed with this woman, Will. She is absolutely the reason why you’ve started drinking again! How the hell can’t you see that?!” I can literally feel the daggers coming out of my eyes in response to Tuck’s outburst but he continues despite my deadly look. “You broke up a fucking marriage. AS. A. MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. You mentioned in your first evaluation that you started drinking earlier this year, around the time you started seeing Charley.”
I feel my palms begin to sweat hearing him say her name.
“Do you really not see the correlation? You couldn’t have her so you drank, then you had her but not on your terms. We both know lack of control is one of your triggers, so again, you drank. Are you REALLY telling me that you haven’t put it all together yet? You haven’t connected point A to point B? You wanted to be with her, you couldn’t be with her—SO. YOU. DRANK. The question I want to know is HOW DO WE AVOID THIS IN THE FUTURE?!” he yells. “I’m not doing this with you every time you throw a temper tantrum for not getting your way, Will!”
I stare at him hard, my cold eyes angry and unforgiving. “How fucking dare you!”
“Will—” he sighs. “You and I both know, I’m not just your counselor in here. I won’t sugarcoat it for you.” I don’t bother to listen to anything he has to say before I’m out the door slamming it behind me.
I’m hitting the pavement hard, one foot after the other as I run my eighth lap around the track indicating that I’ve hit two miles. If only I could hop over the fence in the distance and run home. I slow my feet to a stop and check the stopwatch on my wrist missing the Rolex that usually sits there instead.Leave all valuables at homeis one of the rules that they stress the most before entering any rehabilitation facility.I shake my head as I think about the most precious of my valuables sitting at home probably thinking that I’m just avoiding her calls.
How could Tuck say all of that? He doesn’t even know her!
But he does know you,My subconscious bites back.
“You ready to sit down and talk? Or are you just going to avoid me and spend the morning running laps around his track?”
I look over to see Tuck leaning against the rail separating the track from the stands and I feel a fiery rage building underneath my skin.
“Fuck you, Tuck,” I growl, the last four days have been nothing short of what feels like a hostile takeover of my life; something I’d only witnessed in extreme situations. I’ve been drinking heavily again for the past two weeks and they’re treating me as if I’ve had a bottle a day for the last forty years. Despite the issues that I’ve had with alcohol before, this is extreme. I look down at my watch.Twelve minutes, not bad.How fast I can run a mile feels like the only thing that’s gotten better since I’ve been here.
“I’m sorry for losing it like that,” Tuck says and he shakes his head. “I just want what’s best for you. I’m disappointed that you’re in this situation…not just the alcohol, but getting suspended, getting involved with a patient…I thought you knew better.”
“Save me the lecture, Tuck. I’m not in the mood.”Especially after you unleashed all that bullshit on me this morning.
“I shouldn’t have said what I said, but…you know, deep down, you’re drinking again because of some deep-rooted issue that stems from her.”
I scoff. “No. I was drinking because I lost my job.”
He interrupts. “Because you were sleeping with her.”
“It doesn’t make it her fault.”
“I know that, and I know you believe that, but somewhere inside of you…you may be fearing the resentment that may come later. The resentment towards her for losing your job even though it’s not her fault—entirely. You did take a lot of risks in being with her—continuing your relationship. Maybe that’s what’s led you back to alcohol. Whatever it is, we need to exorcise it.”
My hands are on my hips as I pace back and forth, trying to calm my racing heart.
“And you think keeping me away from Charley is helping? Not letting me talk to her? Not letting her come and visit me here?” I rub my head thinking about the screaming match from this morning. “You’ve never been like this. You’ve always had my back—”
