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“Maybe you should have focused harder on Mom,” I mumble and I’ll admit it was below the belt but it just came out. I look up into sad blue orbs and instantly feel like the biggest bitch on the planet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply it was your fault…it—”
“No, Stass. I understand, and if you need someone to blame, I’ll be that person. I’ll be whatever person you need me to be. I’m sorry I failed youandher. But I swear I’m going to keep you safe.” I put my coffee cup to my lips and blow gently on the hot liquid as I stare at him with curious eyes. He’s different, that much I’m certain. I can see it in his eyes, in his demeanor. But I can’t figure out why. “As far as the past week…” He trails off and clears his throat. “I was a jerk to you and I’m sorry.”
Now is the time to get all my questions out so we have a shot at actually enjoying this trip. “Was it about Micah?”
“Partly. I don’t trust him and I didn’t think he deserved to be there on such a big day for you. But it wasn’t my call to make, and I’m sorry that I took my anger over that out on you.”
I nod and lean forward on the table. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me…at least not anymore.” I bite my bottom lip and look out the window towards the parking lot, spotting Dominic’s car. “I feel like things were changing between us the week before graduation. I felt like we were becoming friends…and I liked that. You shouldn’t worry about Micah…I don’t need him, Dominic. I need you.”
“I know that, Stass. I guess I’m just protective over you and I was trying to think how your Mom would have handled everything and I felt like I let her down. I shouldn’t have made such a scene and I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”
I hadn’t imagined he was feeling guilty over how he reacted to him being there. That he felt embarrassed for getting in a low-key pissing match with my birth father. I hadn’t been embarrassed. In fact, I went back and forth feeling bad that Dominic felt in any way threatened by Micah’s presence and slightly turned on at how he chose to handle it.
Keep that to yourself, Stassi.
“And on a lighter note, yes,” he grins from ear to ear as the waitress approaches our table, “I have been working out.”
A few hours later, after passing miles of beach and crossing that familiar bridge that led to our beach house, we are pulling onto our property. I’ll admit Dominic and my mom did good. The house is a gorgeous white three-story, highlighted by a balcony that wrapped around the middle floor with a pool and hot tub just behind the house. We were a stone’s throw from the beach and there were many nights when I was younger that I fell asleep listening to the waves crashing onto the shore.
I hop out of the car, so ready to ditch these travel clothes, get into a bathing suit and take a nap under one of our umbrellas by the pool.
“Place looks better than I remembered.”
“I had some additions done last year, and it’s been a while since you’ve been here. Did you even come last year?”
“Doubt it,” I tell him as I grab my suitcase from the back and start moving towards the gray stone steps that lead to the front door. I hear Dominic unpacking the car as I plop down on one of the lounges on the front porch. I take a deep breath, smelling the salt in the air, and feeling the warm wind on my skin.This is just what I need. Some time away from everything.
Although I had succumbed to tears a few times, it feels like I’m not coping. I barely have the energy to keep myself going from day to day. I focused on hour to hour and sometimes minute to minute. For the most part, I disallowed myself to dwell on the pain I’m feeling so I do everything I can think of to keep my mind off of it. Maybe this is the perfect place to really start healing. Without the helpful but very prying eyes of everyone around me. I lean my head back against the chair and let my eyes close as I wonder how different my life was a few months ago. A deep sigh leaves my chest and when my eyes flutter open, Dominic is standing over me. “Want to go in?”
“Definitely. I can’t wait to get out of these clothes.” I hear him trailing behind me and I’m instantly met with the sharp contrast of the freezing cold temperatures of the house. “Holy shit, it’s cold in here!”
I hear chuckling behind me. “I had them cut on the air when they came to clean the pool and hot tub, I guess they set it to arctic chill.” I’m bouncing on my heels as I watch Dominic move the thermostat a few degrees before he looks at me. “Let’s just get outside; it’s much warmer out there.”
“Seriously.” I don’t even bring my whole suitcase, I just rip into it for my bathing suit, my hat, my kindle, and some sunscreen. Within minutes, I’ve donned a yellow bikini that in no way shape or form would my mother let me wear anywhere but our private pool. The bottoms are a thong style that covers the space between my legs and not any part of my ass. The top covers everything, though just barely, held together by two strings that tie behind my neck.
I pull my hair from the confines of my bun and let it spill around my shoulders in a mass of curls and grab my sunglasses that had been previously on my head and put them back, pushing my mane back behind my ears. I grab the towel and sling it over my shoulder as I make my way down the stairs to hear him making something with a blender. I head into the kitchen which is the last stop before the deck and stare at him. “Whatcha making?”
“Daiquiris. Virgin of course.”
“Oh fun! Bring me one, pool boy!” I say with a snap of my fingers and skip out the door without another thought. I pull my chair underneath the umbrella so that I don’t completely roast on the first day. It’s only ten a.m. and the sun is already intense, which means by twelve, I’ll barely be able to stand it if I don’t pace myself. I slather my thirty SPF sunscreen on and put on my white floppy hat to deter the sun from beating down on my black hair. I dip my toe in the water and I’m pleased that it’s not freezing but feels like a perfect seventy degrees.
A cough behind me alerts me that Dominic is here and when I turn around, I note his gaze is about a foot lower than my eyes. For a moment, I feel like he’s ogling me, feasting his eyes on all my flesh on display. My eyes are hidden behind my sunglasses but his are very visible and I watch as he drinks me in for what feels like an eternity. Up my legs, my torso, over both breasts and finally he meets my eyes. “Your uh…daiquiri.”
I lick my lips and take a step forward to take it from his hand. “The water is perfect.”
“Good.” He shakes his head before taking a step back. “Don’t uh…wear that to the beach.”
“Seriously? But…it’s cute.”
“You’re barely covered up. It’s not appropriate.”
“I’m eighteen, Dominic. Relax.”
I see a flash of something in his eyes that I don’t really understand. It’s almost like he’s surprised or as if he’d forgotten my age. “Change if you go anywhere but this pool, I mean it, Stassia.” He’s moving up the stairs without another glance towards me before slamming the sliding glass door.
“Okay, grumpy, sheesh.” I set the drink down before taking a very healthy sip and moan as the strawberry flavors explode on my tongue. I swipe a finger through the whipped cream sitting on top and slide it between my lips before settling back in my chair. I take a peek behind me to make sure Dominic isn’t planning to come back because I know he’d act all weird and uncomfortable over what I’m about to do. I untie my top, not wanting the inevitable tan lines that would come with this suit before sliding my chair slightly out from underneath the umbrella. I lie on my stomach at first, just in case he comes back and open my kindle app to the latest book I’m reading.
I’m at the beginning of the book which is my favorite part. It’s when everything is heated looks and touches as the couple tries to hide the feelings bubbling below the surface. When the tension is so palpable you can almost feel the heat through the pages. The time just before the couple gives in to their desires with explosive, passionate lovemaking. A slow burn that is so delicious you can almost taste it. And my God, I can taste it.
