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His dimple forms and I see his perfect smile. “Come on, Vale, it’ll be fun.” He takes a bite into the apple he’s holding before coming around the table and leaning over me. His hand finds my chin and strokes it gently before pulling it up to meet his in a kiss. A kiss I give in to because I know all about the claim thing guys like to have when they’re around their friends, so every once in a while, I let him have it. It’s a short, sweet kiss that warms my heart, especially after the iciness that had been doled out towards me this morning. “Please?” he asks and I look around the table at all of our friends who appear to be pleading with their eyes.
“Okay sure.” I shrug. “I’m in.”
The idea of going to sixth period has long been forgotten as Kate and I took a few hits from her bowl that she keeps in her glove compartment followed by a trip to Chick-Fil-A for French fries and milkshakes. “So, how’s it going? I mean…besides the obvious?” We’re in the parking lot, with the windows down as old school Kanye plays in the background. I push the shake around the cup, mixing the whipped cream into it and pulling the straw out to suck the flavors out of it.
“Shitty. But what can you do?”
“How’s it been being alone with Dominic?” Kate is privy to our ongoing battles and I’m shocked she didn’t use her usual name for him which is “the sex on a stick stepfather from hell.”
“He’s been okay. A little weird when he dropped me off, but maybe he was just having a bad morning.”
She nods in understanding before stuffing a few fries in her mouth. “Are you going to stay with him the rest of the summer?”
“Yep.”
“Oh good, then I have the whole summer with you. I’d hate if you went all the way to Virginia to stay with your grandparents. I’d never see you.” She taps her cup with mine and sucks down a healthy sip of her cookies and cream milkshake.
Kate is brilliant beyond belief and is going to MIT next year to study biochem or chemical engineering or some shit that would account for eighty percent of her social life. But that meant she’s been planning for this summer to be epic before we’re separated for the first time in ten years. We’d been best friends since elementary school, bonded by our hatred of P.E. and our love of Disney movies, so preparing to go to college without each other in tow has weighed on us both. I’ll even admit a part of me felt guilty that I was throwing a wrench in the debaucherous plans she had for us this summer because I had no plans to go out every weekend like I’m sure she intended for us.
“Are you going to have sex with Carter this weekend?” She blinks at me and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Kate is as invested in my virginity as I am, I swear. Kate lost hers at the beginning of this year to Brax Hinton, the star running back and one of Carter’s best friends. They’d been together almost a year before they did but she’d made him wait because he’d been a bit of a manwhore before she came along. It’s been about nine months since then and they seem to be going strong for now. Although, I can’t see how they’ll handle the distance with her head in the books at MIT and his head…possibly between some cheerleader’s legs at the University of Florida.
“I don’t know, K. I don’t think so.” I’m not necessarily opposed to it or Carter. I just feel indifferent towards the idea.Which means I shouldn’t, right?Shouldn’t I be feeling some passionate response to the person I choose to lose my virginity to? The apathy I feel towards giving him something that special makes me feel like it’s the absolute wrong choice even if he is a nice guy with good head game.
“Whyyyyy?” she whines. “Come on, you do not want to go to college still being a virgin.”
I lean my head back against the headrest and let my eyes flutter closed dreading the case she’s about to make. “And why don’t I?”
She blinks her green eyes several times, as if she’s preparing to impart her wisdom. “Because guys in college won’t be concerned with getting you off. Some frat fuck won’t take the time needed to make you feel good.”
“Then that isn’t the right guy. There are nice guys in college, you know.” Maybe I’d read too many romance novels, but I find it hard to believe there aren’t guys in college that would take the time to make a woman feel special.Especiallyher first time.
She narrows her green eyes. “I’m just saying, a guy like Carter would do it right. He cares about you, and he knows you’ve been through a lot.”
Irritation spikes in my veins and I realize I’m fully over this conversation. “Did he ask you to talk this up?”
“No! He knows I wouldn’t anyway. This is me as your best friend just trying to give you advice. I know you’re not like saving yourself for marriage or God or something, so why not have sex with Carter? You already know he can make you come.”
“I want more, Kate. You love Brax and you loved him when you decided to give him your virginity. I want that too. And if I’m not in love, I just want more.”
Ilet Kate take me home after our trip for French fries and milkshakes, which means as I turn my key in the door, I’m already expecting Dominic’s attitude about her bringing me home especially after this morning. But what I don’t expect is full on yelling as I make my way through the foyer.
“She said she would call you if she wanted to talk. It’s her decision, Micah. You can’t expect her to instantly jump at the idea of getting to know you when she thought you’d abandoned her. Hell, youdidabandon her! And you chose now to come back while the pain of losing one parent is fresh thinking you can prey on that vulnerability. What, do you think she needsyounow that Angela’s gone? Fuck off.”
I creep towards the kitchen when I realize he’s just on the phone and Micah isn’t actually at my house. Micah must be replying because it’s silent and I hold my breath as I wait for Dominic’s reply. “Stay away from her until she says the word. Donotambush her.”
Silence.
“I am what’s best for her.”
My heart squeezes in my chest hearing his fierce protectiveness. I hadn’t called Micah because I felt like my mind wasn’t clear enough to make that decision either. The death of my mother had completely clouded my judgment. About sex. About my father. About everything. I just wanted a moment where my mind wasn’t racing with a million thoughts.
And unfortunately, lately, weed has been doing the opposite of mellowing me out. I spent the ride home thinking about sex with Carter and the anxiety mounting in my chest over it means it isn’t what I want. I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t notice Dominic has turned around and is staring straight at me. He narrows his gaze slightly when our eyes meet. “I have to go,” he grits out before hanging up the phone and looking down at his watch. “You’re early and how did you get here?”
“Do you want me to answer that question?”
He sighs and rests his forearms on the counter before looking up at me. “You told me you and Kate wouldn’t ditch anymore.”
“It’s the first time I’ve been to school in a month and it’s my last week of high school, I think you can let this slide.”
