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Her face falls and I can see the hurt in her hazel eyes. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate either of you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not totally shocked, a little freaked out, and more than a little traumatized from walking in on my older brother fucking the life out of my baby sister.”
“Again, knock next time,” James grunts as he pours a shot and downs it. “Look Monica, I’m not going to apologize for this. I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did. Trust me, you walking in on us isn’t exactly high on my favorite times either. But I’m not going to apologize for giving into my heart and my head and—”
“Your dick?”Monica interrupts.
“Yeah, Monica, we’re really in this situation because I wanted to get my dick wet.” He stares at her. “I am in love with her.”
“I just don’t understand how this happened! You were thirteen when Mom and Dad brought her home. You watched her grow up. You loved her like an older brother. Her protector. A man always in her corner. What happens when this ends? How do you go back to being siblings after being lovers? This is why family members shouldn’t engage in this type of relationship. Aside from the fact that it’s illegal and immoral and just…wrong! It makes things messy as fuck when things end. You’ll never be the same and it’s going to change everything! It’s not just about you, it’s going to change the dynamic of our entire family.”
Her words ring in my ears and I find myself getting dizzy at the idea that James and I wouldn’t be the same after this. “It’s not.” His voice cuts through my thoughts and my eyes shoot to his. “It’s not going to end. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t think Gabrielle was my endgame. My soulmate. She’s everything to me.”
I slide my hand into his and lace our fingers, a movement that drags Monica’s eyes to where our hands are joined. “Guys—”
“Monica, I know this is a lot to take in, but…it’s just the way it is. You can kick and scream and warn us about all the issues that will arise from this but I’m not giving him up. I’ll take whatever problems come up in stride. James is…” I bite my bottom lip. “I’m in love with him and I know people will think it’s sick and wrong and dirty, but I don’t care. Because they don’t feel what I feel. They don’t know how physically painful it’s been being in love with someone I thought I could never have. I can’t spend my life living for other people. I want to live for me.”
“Maybe you don’t care what other people think but what about our people? What about Mom and Dad and your friends and people that only know you two as siblings? How is that going to work when you want to get married or have a baby?”
“I don’t know, Monica. You’re asking us a list of questions we haven’t thought about. We’re taking it day by day. We weren’t anticipating having to explain this to anyone a week into our relationship.”
“Relationship?” Monica repeats.
“Yes, Monica. A relationship. Or are you still not getting what I’m saying? Gabrielle. Is. Mine.” A smile pulls at my lips hearing his absolute possession of me. “Every part of her belongs to me and I am not giving her up for anyone. Not you, not our parents, not anyone. If anyone has a problem with it, and I’m sure there will be, I’ll fucking deal with it as it comes. But I’m not giving away my chance to be happy because people may find fault with it. We can just move and you’ll never see us again. I’m sure that will go over really well with our mother that is so desperate for grandchildren she can’t see straight.”
“I don’t think she’s desperate for her son and daughter to have her grandchildren together.”
James lets out an exasperated breath. “Mon, I’m not going back and forth with you about this. It is what it is. Deal with it or don’t, but the Q and A is over.” He pulls my hand to his lips. “I know how this looks and I know it’s a lot, but how do you think we’re feeling?” Tears prickle in my eyes and goosebumps rise all over my skin. “I’ll take care of Gabrielle, Monica. You know that.”
“Of course, I do,” Monica whispers as tears form in her eyes. “And if you two were any other people in my life, I’d believe that this is real. I’d be your biggest cheerleaders. I’ve seen how you two look at each other when you don’t think anyone’s looking. I’ve seen the lingering hugs and the times Gabrielle would feel so comfortable sitting in your lap over this past year. I’ve heard you tell her you love her when you get off the phone when that’s never been something you and I did. I always knew your bond with her was different, but I guess even if you guys did have feelings for each other, I never expected you’d cross that line…to this magnitude.” She lets out a breath. “Look, it’s your life and I can’t control it any more than I can control the weather but I’m hoping that if you go down this road…you’re prepared for all the bumps that’ll come along the way. If you’re going to do this, you both need to be all in.”
