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He walked a small distance from the blanket and turned back to her. “As time went on, whatever cordiality we had managed to maintain gradually disappeared, and she found more and more reasons to find fault with the household staff, the villagers and tenants who were too common and disgusting for her taste, and with Winton Court in general. Suffice it to say she was actually finding fault with me without saying as much. Are you sorry now that you persisted in hearing my story?”
“Not at all,” Rebecca said. In fact, she was getting angrier by the minute, but not at Ben. “Forgive me for speaking ill of the dead, but it seems to me she behaved terribly through all of this.”
“She would claim the opposite.”
“She didn’t have to agree to the marriage,” Rebecca argued. “If she was the darling, the diamond of the first water you say she was, she must have had her pick of any gentlemen she wished. Certainly, she had other suitors.”
“She did. There were several young gentlemen who paid her court and young ladies, too, who wished to cluster around the gentlemen who clustered around her. Viscount Stanley and a Mr. Banfield and a Mr. Mandeville, among others. I suspect her interest in me had to do with my being an earl and being rather flush in the coffers, so to speak.”
Rebecca’s blood was beginning to boil in earnest. The fire in her hand had made its way to her inner core. “You make yourself sound like a veritable bore. And yet, so far, you’ve been nothing but trouble to me.” It wasn’t actually the truth since he’d done a lot to redeem himself in the time following her accident, but, heavens, what young lady could see him only for his title and money’s sake?
He chuckled at her insult, which was what she’d hoped he would do.
“Excuse me for speaking ill of the dead once again,” she said, “but it seems to me your deceased wife could have at least made an effort in your marriage.”
“Perhaps the idea of capturing the title of countess when one is a genteel commoner sounds better in theory than in practice,” he said. “And perhaps being flattered by the most beautiful young lady of the Season pushes one to make rash decisions.”
She could feel her cheeks heat up. “I’m sorry. I had no right to pass judgment in that way.”
“What is done is done, as you yourself said earlier, and there is no going back now,” he said. “And I was not entirely innocent in the matter. I found her to be frivolous and too concerned with her appearance and her standing amongst theton. It bored me.
“Our indifference for each other continued, I’m sorry to say. The following Season, in June, she began complaining that I was spending too much time at the House of Lords, that I was distracted and negligent company. I confess, I did much to avoid her company. At any rate, she announced that she wanted to spend time with her parents, away from London, which seemed a bit odd considering ‘everyone’ was in Town at the time. But I conceded to her wish. She left for Gloucestershire two days later, with my blessing.”
For some reason, a knot developed in the pit of Rebecca’s stomach. Something more was coming, and her sense of dread increased with his every word. “That was a kind gesture on your part,” she said flatly, entirely unsure what to say to him, especially after her critical remark.
“Thank you,” he said with a shrug. “She stayed in Gloucestershire until September and returned to Winton Court a few weeks after I did.
“Things were better after that. Life together was more congenial; it felt more of a marriage than it ever had, and that gave me hope.
“More hope followed in November when she shared the news with me that she was with child, and we began planning for the blessed event that was to occur in June.” He ceased speaking and turned to look out over the pond at some unknown mark.
And Rebecca suddenly knew what had happened next without being told. “She died in childbirth,” she said softly.
“Yes,” he said, nodding.
That single word tore at her heart. “What of the baby?” she asked in a hushed tone. It was a common occurrence, after all, to lose both mother and child when something went amiss during delivery. She wasn’t at all sure she wished to hear the answer.
“The baby lived; her mother did not,” he said, still looking out over the pond.
A baby girl.
She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
But then she had another thought. How was it that for all this time, he could mention that he was a widower and not mention he was a father as well?
“What is her name?” Rebecca asked.
“I named her Rose, after my mother,” he said. “It was what Gemma and I had agreed upon beforehand. And before you ask, she is at Winton Court, with her nurse. I would not take an infant on a long journey when I had no idea what I would encounter when I arrived here.”
His last words sounded defensive to Rebecca. “Of course you were acting cautiously, having so recently lost her mama,” she said. He had lost his wife at the very time when he’d needed her most, leaving him the sole parent of a newborn. And why was he relieved to be free of his marriage if it had improved? “Rose is a beautiful name. I’m sure your mother was pleased.”
“I daresay she was,” he said. He returned to the blanket and sat next to Rebecca once more. “There. I believe I have paid off my debt. I also believe that before I am required to divulge more of my sordid past, I should be rewarded with more music. Are you ready to return home now, or do you wish to remain here longer?” he asked.
She glanced at Annie, whose chin was sitting on her chest, her hands stilled from their sewing. Her chaperone had nodded off. And then she gazed at Ben and recognized the suffering in his eyes that had not been there when they’d started on their outing. “Let’s remain a while longer,” she said. “I would like to enjoy our surroundings further, if you’re agreeable.”
“It suits me perfectly,” he said.
* * *
