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A faithful old butler, a meticulous housekeeper. The aromas of favorite recipes coming from the kitchen. The devotion of a simpleminded girl.
And then there were William’s kisses, different from Lord Kerridge’s, enticing her, attracting her. Oh, yes, she found him attractive. He was a beautiful man.
A beautiful, honorable man.
She loved him.
“William,” she said softly, not wishing to startle him.
He turned at her voice and stared at her as if he were seeing a ghost. “Louisa, is that really you?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, her heart full.
“But what of Lord Kerridge? I presumed—”
“You presumed wrong.” She walked closer.
“Wrong?” he repeated as if he couldn’t understand the word. “You’re really here, aren’t you? And your parents? They let you—”
“They are here too. And so are Alex and Anthony. We are all here, William.”
He shook his head as if to clear it. “Well, you may inform them that they may exact their pound of flesh from me. I deserve no less.”
“That is not why we are here, William.”
He turned to stare at the pond once more and said nothing in reply.
“I told them I was returning to Farleigh Manor to see you. And when I explained my reason to them, they agreed to accompany me. We have unfinished business between us, William, whether you acknowledge it or not.”
He remained silent for a while, and Louisa waited for him to speak, her heart in her throat. “I owe you an apology,” he said at length. “I have already apologized to you for the worst of my deeds and tried to make amends, although I doubt that will ever be possible. But I also promised to tell you about myself and I failed, and for that I am gravely sorry.”
“Hush, now,” she said. She walked to where he was sitting and offered him her hand, and he took it, lending her his strength as she sat next to him. To feel his hand around hers again was heaven. “You have no need to apologize. Not to me.”
He ignored her words of reassurance. Now that he’d begun to speak, it appeared he could not stop. “My earliest memories are of my mother,” he said. “She was a quiet, gentle woman and beautiful, at least to a small boy who adored her. But I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most.”
“You were a child. You weren’t responsible for her unhappiness,” Louisa said. “William, I know what happened to you as a boy. And while I hope you continue to tell me more, you don’t have to apologize. I want only for you to trust me. I want to not wonder why you can’t talk to me.”
“I couldn’t risk it. Don’t you see?” His eyes looked so desolate that Louisa grasped both of his hands, anything to give him support. He clutched them to his chest as if by doing so, he could contain all the emotions threatening to burst free. “I have been haunted by my father my entire life. The vowel was a sure bet, and the odds were too great if you discovered what marrying me would really mean.”
“William, my love,” she said gently, freeing a hand so she could lay her palm on his cheek. “I know what marrying you will mean. I have learned that you will do whatever is possible for those you love. I have seen it in Grimshaw’s loyalty to you, in the proud housekeeping of Mrs. Holly, in the cooking smells coming from Mrs. Brill’s kitchen, and in Matthew’s neatly kept front grounds. I have seen it in Samuel and Mary.
“They all love you, William, and have stayed at Farleigh Manor because they knew your time would come, and they intended to do their part in making sure you had something of value to return to. They do not depend on you; they are offering you their support.”
Her cheeks were wet, she knew, but she wanted to share everything in her heart with him. “Marriage to Lord Kerridge would have offered wealth and status but nothing more. Not love. Oh, William, you can give me a life he cannot—the one I want,” she said. “I am not afraid of challenge, William. And I am not afraid to marry a man who loves others as deeply as you do and is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for them. There is no gamble for me in that.”
His eyes, which had looked so anguished only moments ago, were now bright with unshed tears as they searched her face. He reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and dabbed at her cheeks. “This is what I love about you,” he said softly. “That you speak your feelings so openly and that I can read your every thought and emotion on your beautiful, expressive face. It is a relief, this transparency you have, after so many years of living with the opposite.”
He pulled her into his arms then, and she held him and held him, her face nestled snugly against his chest, his arms wrapped just as tightly around her. She breathed in the wonderful, warm scent that was William and listened to the solid beating of his heart. It felt natural and right for her to be there.
“You called me your love,” he whispered into her ear.
“I wasn’t sure you were paying attention,” she whispered back. It was a wonderfully intimate thing, to be held like this, secure and exciting both.
“I could hardly miss the words I’ve been longing to hear you speak.”
“You said you loved me too.” She nestled even closer, if that were possible.
“Did I?” He nuzzled her ear.
