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“Thanks.” I rub my hand over my face.This better not bite me in the arse.“Why don’t you get some of your ideas together over the weekend, and we can meet after school on Monday to go over it?”
Tiana nods and I turn to leave, but she calls out to me. “I’m really sorry about what Sarah and Caley have been saying to you this week. I just want you to know I’m staying out of it.”
This is all too much for me to process. Why is Tiana being so nice to me? Okay, so she hasn’t been participating in the horrible things Sarah has been saying to me, but she also hasn’t been standing up against her friend’s toxic behaviour either. I want to use the magazine as a platform to speak out against bullying. How am I supposed to work with Tiana on that?
“I’ve gotta go,” I finally say. “I’ll see you Monday.” I leave her standing in the hallway alone.
∞
Walking home from school gives me time to reflect on the horrible week I’ve endured. All I want to do is talk to Oliver. He’s my sounding board, the one who calms me down when my mind goes into overdrive. But I have no idea where we stand right now. Things got so weird after we kissed, and I still haven’t heard from him since his birthday. I love Ashley, but she’s far more dramatic than me, and would start plotting the demise of Sarah and her friends. That’s not what I need right now. I just want to find a way to get her off my back. I have no idea what I did to make her target me, but I just want it to stop.
Pulling my phone out, I open my messages and stare at the screen. What do I write? I have no idea what he’s thinking. Is he angry at me? Upset? Embarrassed? He’s been through so much in the last three months, and I want to support him, but I have no idea how he really feels about everything that’s happened.
He misses his dad. That’s a given. He kissed me. That was all on him. I was a willing participant, but then he pushed me away. What does that mean? Did he want to kiss me, or was it just a drunken mistake? Does he hate me now? My head is spinning. I need to see him in person. I can’t put any of this in a message. I need to see his reaction.
I’m only two blocks from the Johnson’s house, so I send Mum a message to tell her where I’m going before detouring. The butterflies in my stomach increase the closer I get to Oliver’s. I don’t know how he feels about the kiss, but we’ve been friends for years and that’s worth fighting for.How did everything get so complicated?!
“Hannah!” Jake’s eyes widen when he sees me standing on their front step. He pulls me in for a hug. “Where’ve you been?”
“Uh, you know, slammed by school.” I have no idea what he knows. My cheeks burn at the thought of Oliver confiding in him about our kiss.Is he surprised to see me because he knows Oliver doesn’t want to see me?“How’s things?”
“Yeah, good.” He grins, welcoming me inside. “I’m a man of leisure until I start work at the restaurant next week.”
“That’s exciting.”
I follow him into the kitchen. There’s a toasted sandwich sitting on the bench, and my stomach rumbles at the sight of food. Jake laughs, picking up half the sandwich and passing me the plate. I smile at him as I take a bite.
“Is Oli home?” I ask, glancing around.
He nods. “In his room. He hasn’t really come out of it this week, except to go to school and footy training.” He shrugs, watching me closely as he adds, “I guess year twelve is harder than I remember.”
I force myself to laugh, but it’s a hollow sound. “Guess we’ve both been pretty slammed.”
“Hey, how good is Oli’s news about being named captain of the under nineteens?”
I almost choke on the sandwich. Coughing and spluttering, I accept the glass of water Jake hands me.
“Oh shit. Didn’t you know?” Jake runs his hand over his face. “I assumed he’d already told you.”
I shake my head, wiping my eyes. “He…um…he probably wanted to tell me in person.” My stomach twists. Something huge happened in Oliver’s life and he hasn’t even bothered to send me a message. He’s completely cut me out of his life.What am I even doing here?
“Act like you had no idea,” Jake implores me, completely oblivious to what’s going through my mind. “He’ll be so shitty I gave away his news, especially to you. And he’s already pissed off at me.”
“Why?”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
Too caught up in my own problems with his brother to push it anymore, I give him a small smile as I leave the kitchen. I consider walking straight out the front door but I force my feet to move down the hall towards Oliver’s bedroom. Hesitating outside, I try to pull myself together.
He’ll have some reason for this radio silence.I’m just overthinking things, as usual.
I hear the annoyance in his voice when I knock on the door.
“Come in.”
Taking a deep breath, I enter his bedroom. The last time I was in here, I left in tears, deeply hurt at being pushed away by my best friend. I swallow.
We can get past this. The kiss was just that – a kiss. We’ve known each other forever. We can move past this. Laugh about it even.Surely he’s not going to push me away a second time.
