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“She’s going to find out eventually,” I point out.
“I know, but I’ll figure out how to deal with that later.”
I shrug. “She won’t hear it from me.”
13
The best thing about JD being school captain is that his parents believe he’s responsible enough to be left alone while they go away for the weekend at the end of February. The music reverberates in my head as I make my way through the garage and out to the back yard. Macca greets me with a beer, and I crack the lid, letting the icy cool liquid run down my throat. This is exactly what I need after an intense couple of weeks filled with nightmares, lack of sleep, footy training, school, avoiding Mum and Jake’s scrutiny, and trying to push aside my growing feelings for Hannah.
We’ve been hanging out; studying, watching movies, but there’s always been this sort of electric current vibrating under the surface. Every time I’m near her I want to kiss her. And every time we’re together, I dream about losing her the same way I lost Dad. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me and I just need to let loose for a bit.
On to my third beer, I look up as Ashley and Hannah walk through the back gate. It’s as if I’m drawn to her presence. My heart rate increases at the sight of my best friend in her frayed denim shorts and tight grey Rolling Stones tee. I stand up too quickly, swaying slightly as the alcohol goes straight to my head.Or is it her that caused me to stumble?Before she can see me, I make my way inside to the bathroom.
Splashing cold water on my face, I stare at my sunken eyes in the reflection.Get a grip. Are you seriously going to hide out in the bathroom all night?Hannah and I have been messaging all week, but I haven’t seen her since she had dinner with us earlier this week. Every time my phone beeped my heart would start racing.This is ridiculous. I need to get past this silly little crush. It can’t happen.
Exhaling, I open the bathroom door, ready to go outside and face Hannah. We’re friends. I can do this. Hang out. Have a laugh. Just friends. Easy.
I scan the backyard, spotting Hannah and Ashley in a group by the side gate.I can do this. I can be normal.Hannah looks over at me with a smile and my mouth goes dry.Come on, Oli. She’s your friend.I smile and nod, but I need another drink before I can join her.
As I reach into the esky, a warm hand snakes around mine, and I blink up in surprise at the pretty blonde girl standing next to me.
“Oops, sorry,” she giggles, not letting go of my hand. “Didn’t see you there.”
“Uh, that’s okay.” I grin, staring into her bright blue eyes. “Here.” I pop the top off the beer and hand it to her, watching like a creep as she wraps her pink lips around the bottle.Holy shit!
“I’m Sarah,” she says, running her tongue over her bottom lip.
“Oliver,” I choke out. I run my eyes over the girl. Tall, blonde, blue eyes… she’s the exact opposite of Hannah. Not to mention she’s confident in herself as she reaches over and runs her hand down my bicep. I shiver at the touch.
“Nice to meet you, Oliver. Do you go to St Christopher’s?”
Unable to think of anything smart and witty to say, I simply nod, reaching down to get myself another drink.This could be exactly what I need to get my mind off Hannah.
“It’s so loud out here.” Sarah pouts as I straighten up. “Do you want to go somewhere quiet and talk?”
She’s definitely flirting with me.I glance around the party, locking eyes with Hannah again. She’s staring over at Sarah and me. Her face is pale and an unrecognisable expression clouds her eyes. I swallow, ignoring the thumping in my chest as I tear my gaze away from her, back to the pretty girl standing beside me.The perfect distraction.“Yeah, sure.” I offer my hand to Sarah.
She grins as she places her hand in mine. I risk a furtive look back over my shoulder at Hannah, wishing I hadn’t. She’s staring at the ground as Ashley and their group of friends hold an animated conversation around her. It makes me want to go and wrap her in my arms, but I can’t. By ignoring her and my feelings for her, I’m keeping her safe. The nightmares can’t come true.
My stomach flutters as I lead Sarah into JD’s front living room. Her eyes roam the space. She wanders over to the mantle, picking up a family picture before putting it down and turning to face me. I sit on the couch and pat the spot next to me.
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to be in here?” she asks in a stage whisper, joining me on the couch.
I shrug, taking a sip of my beer. Sarah chews on her bottom lip, and I try not to think about how it reminds me of Hannah. I lean a little closer to Sarah. “So, how do you know JD?”
“He used to be… uh, close with my cousin,” she says. “Shaun.”
“Small world.” I nudge her with a smile. “JD seemed really happy with Shaun, but he didn’t really tell us what happened between the two of them.”
“Shaun moved to Melbourne last year for uni. I guess it just fizzled out.” Her fingers trace soft patterns on the back of my hand, and I have to concentrate on breathing. “But I didn’t come here to talk about my cousin’s love life.” She leans in a little closer.
“You didn’t huh?” I grin.This girl sure is confident.
Her smile falters for a moment. “Listen, I know you’re really good friends with JD, but I, uh, I just kinda got out of something with someone so can we keep whatever this is–” she waves her hand back and forth between the two of us, “–to ourselves for now?”
“Would I know this someone?” I lower my voice as I lean in a little closer, waiting to see if she’ll move away from me.
“Probably not,” Sarah whispers as she leans further in to meet me.
