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“Yeah.”
My knee bounces up and down as I look out the window, mentally calculating how far away from Hannah’s we are. I have fifteen minutes to get to her house.
“So now I’m dropping you off at Hannah’s, on her eighteenth birthday, all bloodied and bruised?”
“Yep.”
“You going to tell me why?”
I sigh. “I kissed Hannah on my birthday.”
“Huh.”
I look over at him. “That’s all you have to say? ‘Huh.’”
He shrugs. “Sam and I thought something must’ve happened. You both disappeared that night, and then Hannah stopped coming around the house.” He glances over at me. “So, I’m still a bit confused about why I’m dropping you off there now?”
I groan. “I think I… I have feelings for her. Strong feelings.”
“Which is why you’ve been hooking up with Sarah for the last month?”
I clench my fists. Jake isn’t making this easy for me. “I was trying to forget about her.”
“Who? Hannah? Why?”
I scratch at a spot of blood on my jeans. Hopefully Mum will be able to get that out. I don’t want to have to buy a new pair of jeans as well.
“Are you going to tell mewhyyou were trying to forget about Hannah?” Jake punches my shoulder lightly. “Apart from the fact you’re an idiot?”
I scowl over at him. He shrugs and smirks, but doesn’t say anything else. We’re almost at her house now, I glance down at my watch. Eleven fifty-two. I’m cutting it close, but I’m going to get to see her for her birthday. That has to count for something. I have no idea what I’m going to say to her, but I’ll figure it out when I get there. Straight from the heart. She’ll appreciate it. Surely.
Pulling up in front of her house, Jake puts his hand out to stop me from getting out of the car. “Why were you trying to forget about Hannah, Oli?”
“C’mon Jake, let me go. I need to see her before midnight.”
My brother shakes his head. “You’re finally talking to me again. I need you to tell me the whole story.”
I try to shrug him off, but he’s got a good grip. Looking over at her house shrouded in darkness I let out a big sigh. We should’ve been celebrating her biggest milestone. She’d been there to celebrate mine, and I stuffed it up by getting blitzed, kissing her, and then pushing her away.Idiot.
“I didn’t want to lose her like we lost dad.”
Jake releases me. “We’ll talk about this later,” he says, and I nod before climbing out of his car.
It’s time to admit how I feel about her, consequences be damned. She’s not my dad. She’s not going to leave me.I hope.
23
The alcohol is still coursing its way through my blood leaving me slightly off balance, but I concentrate on making it across the Robinson’s front yard without tripping over anything or waking Hannah’s parents. The side gate squeaks as I push it open and I pause, making sure no one has heard anything before creeping along the side of her house. Pebbles crunch under every step. The noise echoes in the silence.
My stomach is in knots by the time I reach Hannah’s bedroom window. Pulling out my phone, I check the damage to my face using the camera.Shit. It’s worse than I thought.My right eye is red, there’s a small gash on the top of my swollen nose, and some slight swelling underneath both eyes. I try to wipe a bit of the dried blood from my face using my sweatshirt, but it’s useless. Sighing, I tap on Hannah’s window.
Holding my breath, I start to worry she’s not home. She could be out with Ashley somewhere. I knock a little louder, praying it won’t wake Brad – his bedroom is right next to hers. Her bedside lamp flicks on, and I step back from the window, not wanting to frighten her when she finally peaks through her blinds.
“Oli,” she hisses as she slides open her window. “What are you doing here?”
I try to give her a wry grin, which comes off more like a grimace, as I hold up her present. She lets out a large sigh before gently pushing out the fly screen so I can crawl through the window. Landing unceremoniously with a soft thud, I lean up against the wall, wincing at the bright light.
“Happy birthday,” I offer, passing her the journal.
