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Chapter Twenty-seven
Something didn’t add up and Rylee knew it. When everything spun out of control, she couldn’t put her finger on it. And by the time they’d decided to eat in the cabin, and the pizzas arrived, it just didn’t seem to matter so much anymore.
Jake had Carlos bring them a deck of cards and introduced them to a new game that was a lot of fun. They passed the better part of the evening laughing and gaining Miguel’s confidence.
Sitting back and watching the two males bonding was a sweet sight. It was as if Jake had started out trying to make the boy relax, and very soon, there was no effort needed. It just was. Miguel caught on to Jake’s jokes and even came back a time or two with his own unexpected quips that made even her laugh.
By the time Jake and the boy were ready to leave, Miguel seemed quite willing to go with him, and that let Rylee loosen up for the first time since she’d found the kid.
At the door, Jake held her back and whispered, “I’ll get Miguel settled and come back. We need to talk. And maybe we can still enjoy part of the evening? I’ll check with Carlos about helping to keep Miguel hidden and let you know what’s decided.”
Jake’s warm hand gently held her arm. His eyes were riveted to hers, their gazes so interlocked that it took a massive effort on her part to look away.
Swallowing, her throat dry, her lips tingling, she nodded.
Lordy, this man has way too much power over me. If I want to carry on doing my job, things are gonna change. But those green stunners get to me. Man, they make me as weak-kneed as all the other idiot females who’ve ever let a man control them. Fuck me, this ain’t happening.
***
Once she was alone, Rylee headed for the balcony and loved the feel of the warm salty air on her heated skin. Gazing high above, the moon’s beauty drew her. Before she knew it would, it took her back to another time when she had hidden from pain and fear.
The day she’d had her faith in humanity crumpled and her body violated. All her youthful beliefs and her beautiful spirit had been destroyed, and she’d never recovered, never wanted to. She clung to the day she’d been abused like one clung to an abject lesson they swore never to repeat.
The pain and violation. Disgust and fury. The shame. It had been the worst to deal with, and one of the results she still hadn’t overcome. Probably never would. What she had done was to make sure no male would ever have that power over her again. Could hold her down and take what she hadn’t given freely. A beast disrespecting her body as if he had a right.
Like the good-looking guy had done after delivering a parcel to their house and found her alone. They’d talked at the door, and having just begun to comprehend her feminine attraction, she’d trustingly flirted back with him when he’d come on to her, never thinking there might be consequences. She’d been a little older than Miguel, a girl just flowering into womanhood.
He’d been at least ten years older and a slime-bucket asshole who took advantage of her youth and her faith in the goodness of others. Fast-talking his way past her into the house once he’d learned she was there alone; he’d forced his way with her. He’d hurt her badly, broken her spirit, broken her heart and then he’d left.
That day, which had started out as any other, a day to enjoy the summer weather, have fun with her peers and embrace her young girl’s world of laughter had changed. Her perfect life vanished, and a new era began.
One of self-hate, disbelief and distrust for everyone she met. And then of sickness and a horrible truth that had to be faced and done so alone. He’d left her with an STD.
At the time, she hadn’t known anything about infections or how to look after her body. It wasn’t until her temperature had soared and her pain became excruciatingly unbearable that she approached her parents and they called for the ambulance. In the ER, she refused to divulge what had happened, forced secrecy between her and the intern and carried the fear alone that she might never be able to bear a child.
Over the next few years, though she never told anyone of the incident, her family came to realize their Sunshine had changed and acted more like a Snowflake.
Her personality had done an about face, and the guarded, crusty, disbeliever of today had emerged. Only her sister Mari still remembered what she’d been like and could sometimes force her to revert to her earlier fun-loving behavior.
Over the next few years, she’d had male friends, but none that were ever allowed inside her inner circle. She’d only satisfy her body’s needs and move on.
As for the rapist who’d left her crying in a naked heap on her living room floor, she’d pulled some strings and caught up with him soon after she’d gotten her FBI badge. Once she found out his address, she’d visited his jail cell and learned a huge lesson.
The person who’d been carved in the forefront of her mind for six years, had no idea who she was. On his record, she’d learned of his terminal cancer and his lifetime sentence for rape and murder. It ensured he’d probably die in prison, and all she felt was relief that she didn’t have to kill him after all.
Sudden laughter from the deck below pulled her back from the darkness, the disgusting nightmare where she’d been entrenched. She shook off her trembling state, stiffened and went to the place in her mind where her counselor had advised would give her peace. Memories of the good times. Christmases full of love and laughter. Happy moments with her loving parents.
It had taken years before she’d finally talked with a specialist about her history. She’d learned about PTSD and was told that until she cleared away the emotions attached to the incident; she’d never be able to live a normal healthy life. Though she’d hated the weakness, dry-eyed she’d described some of the details. She learned that having another woman share in her grief had been both cathartic and somewhat liberating.
But there were times, moments when it all rushed back, and she filled up with so much shame and hate that only isolation and time to grieve brought her back from the edge. Unfortunately, she didn’t have that time now. She had to push all that misery behind the steel bars and lock it back in.
Wiping her cheeks, a realization that she’d succumbed to her heartache, she thought about Jake’s promise to return. A sudden spurt of gladness welled inside and her heart thudded to a stop.
Oh, no. No. No. No. Not now. It couldn’t happen now. A clear head was a must. The man needed her protection not her silly infatuation. She shook her head, her hair streaming out over her face. She reached to shove it back, and that’s when she saw her. The Asian beauty lounging on a deck chair in an isolated area, a drink in her hand, and a tablet over her knees enjoying herself like she didn’t have a worry in the world.
Gathering her bag and heading to the door, Rylee grinned. That woman had no idea what was coming or who was going to disrupt her contentment. As she hurried along the corridor, her earlier black mood faded.
