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Chapter Thirty
Rylee took the fastest shower ever recorded in her recent history and was ready when Jake appeared shortly after she got back to her room. With her hair newly blown dry and draped over her shoulders, she took the time to put on her makeup, not the full regalia, but more like what she would use as her FBI self.
Then she searched her wardrobe for the dress she’d chosen. Not one of the ones that Mari had forced on her. This silky masterpiece hung in folds just past her knees and the crisscross bodice clung to her body, showing off her breasts in such a way that she felt like a princess. Even the soft turquoise pattern appealed to her, not that she would normally wear any of these types of clothes she’d brought on this trip.
But, having been forced into using them, she voluntarily accepted that maybe navy, blacks, and grays weren’t her true colors after all.
Once ready, she floated out to the balcony for the second time that evening. The space where she’d had the battle with Maddie earlier was now empty and the overturned chairs had been put back in place.
Seeing the battleground, she felt the thrill of the fight again. Mother of God, she’d missed that rush – using her skills to overcome her opponent in hand-to-hand combat. She knew Mari worried about her penchant for being in dangerous circumstances, but she also knew how equipped she was to deal with those situations… and how much she needed them.
A knock at the door started her heart tripping over itself and her breathing quickened. She peeked out to see if it was Jake and her suddenly shaky hands opened the door. She stood back against the wall to allow him to pass.
Only he didn’t. Instead, he moved up to her, and when she lifted her hands as if to ward him off, he quickly imprisoned them and held them by her head on both sides.
He stared down into her eyes, and she sensed he waited for some sign of welcome.
“Hi,” she said, her voice husky with the desire he couldn’t miss. Looking up into his piercing eyes, she felt small and helpless… yet not afraid.
“Hi.” He answered her in a similar tone, his solid body unyielding. “You look pretty, Rylee.” His eyes narrowed and zoomed in on the area she’d tried to hide with extra makeup.
“What happened to your face?”
“I got hit there with a beachball when Miguel and I were playing in the pool.” It was the truth but the beachball was very small and lightweight. Whereas Maddie’s punch wasn’t.
He gently placed a kiss on the area and whispered, “It doesn’t distract from how lovely you are. Would you mind if I really kissed you?”
Before fear took hold, his shocking question sunk in. Oh, God! He was the first person who’d ever asked for permission. The first man who’d respected the fact that she had a choice. And, the first man she’d ever wanted to kiss her more than she wanted anything else at this moment.
“Yes, please.” She watched him register her reply and smile. Then he slowly lowered his lips toward hers, only to stop inches away to look deeply into her eyes.
Uncomfortable with his searching, and yet so needy for his kiss, she allowed him a few moments until overcome, unable to withstand this intrusion, she reached her mouth to his and took control.
Unprepared for the liftoff, never having had this experience of desire before, she felt every bone in her body turn to mush and her pulse jump to red alert for a heart attack from an organ pumping too fast.
This man knew how to kiss, how to soften his lips so they drew every ounce of passion from inside her quivering, heated body. They travelled over her face to her throat and then back again, making love to every inch of heated skin they encountered on the journey.
He thrust his hard body against her softness, overwhelming her completely. His hands still trapped hers, and suddenly, she had nowhere to turn. Trauma signals ignited and that’s when fear oozed in. She pushed at his chest. He needed to back off. She couldn’t stand being overpowered. “Jake, stop.” She needed him to listen.
It took only seconds for her words to register and just as her knee was lifting in self-defense, he stepped away.
“Jesus, Rylee.” He jumped, realizing how close he’d come to being emasculated. He glared his relief. “What the hell?”
Swiftly pushing past him, heading for the sofa where she could sit rather than collapse, Rylee hid her shame behind the trembling hands covering her face. This wasn’t the first time she’d had such a reaction to a man’s overwhelming her, but it was the first time it mattered. The other occasions, she’d left the idiots without a qualm and never looked back.
Jake came close to perch on the table in front of her. His gentle hands caressed her naked shoulders, moving up and down in a soothing fashion. “I scared you, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, baby.” His words registered but she continued to hide her embarrassment away from his knowing eyes. “It’s okay. I understand. Living on the streets for so many years taught me a lot of lessons. One was the reaction from a person who’s suffered a trauma.”
“I’ve dealt with my past.” Her voice sounded thicker than she’d expected, the anguish obvious.
“Lessons don’t get untaught, Rylee. They’re seared into one’s subconscious and appear when you least expect them. I held you down, against your will. I was wrong.”
Her head shot up. She glared at his certainty. “No, you didn’t. I mean it wasn’t against my will. I liked kissing you.”
“But you didn’t like me trapping you with my body.”
She dropped her head so the softness of her hair slid as a wall she could hide behind. Slowly, she sensed his hands moving closer as if he waited for her to signal her distaste. When she didn’t move, he gathered her hair and pushed it back behind her ears while at the same time lifting her chin so she had to face him.
“Were you abused in the past?” Like an impregnable wall, the question hovered between them. If she answered, spoke of something she’d never shared with anyone other than her doctor, a place she’d never envisioned herself going, there would be no turning back.
“I don’t talk about my past.”
“You say your past like it’s something shameful to hide. It isn’t, Rylee. It’s just experiences we all live through that sometimes hurt and humiliate us and other times reward us. But there isn’t a soul alive who hasn’t got a past or lived through some type of trauma… me included. Please don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me. I promise you; I won’t judge.
Hearing his softly spoken words in a voice resonating integrity, she reached her hand out and breathed relief when he held it and lifted it to his heart. “I would never hurt you, baby. Never. I don’t know how or why you’ve begun to matter to me, but I can’t fight it, nor do I want to. From now on, when I kiss you, and I fully intend to do so every chance I get, all you have to do is whisper my name, and I’ll pay attention. No more Neanderthal caveman tactics to scare you. Okay?”
Alarmed at just how close she came to revealing everything, suddenly remembering her undercover status and that she wasn’t allowed to give details about her personal life, she changed the subject. “Yes, okay. Thank you for understanding. Can we go somewhere, get out of this cabin? Maybe have a drink at one of the bars?”
Standing and drawing her with him, he grinned and wrapped one arm around her shoulders to guide her forward. “You bet your sweet ahhh… soul we can. We’ll go dancing, and I’ll get to hold you in my arms.”
