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Silence found them for a while before Nicole said, “Since you sent her the summons, can I go beat that bitch ass?”
Elite laughed for what felt like the first time in forever.
“Nicole…”
“At least let me go drag her out your house. There’s no reason for you to be in this dark, depressing ass room.”
“I told your husband I didn’t want to be in that house no more.”
“We can redecorate. Or sell it. But her ass gots to go.”
Elite thought it over for a while. Admittedly, the provider in him hadn’t wanted to put Jacintha out. The divorce was officially underway, and Elite was hoping Jacintha wouldn’t ask him for anything. She loved that house, and a part of him wanted to take it just to hurt her, but he loved her too much to do that… even after everything that she’d done.
“I’ll tell her she can keep it until the divorce is finalized, then she’ll have to move.”
The huff Nicole released made Elite smile.
“Fine. Have you been eating?”
He shook his head. “Nah.”
“Can you please come with me to get something to eat? Then I’ll leave you alone.”
“I don’t have an appetite.”
“Aight, bet.” She pulled her phone out, and the light illuminated her face.
“What you doin’?” When she didn’t answer, Elite said, “You bet not be calling my brother.”
“I am. I’ma make him come deal with your stubborn ass, and you know he will spend the night up here with you.”
“Aight, aight. Just… Don’t call him. I’ll go.”
Nicole chuckled and set her phone next to her. “And cut these lights on in here. The less you eat, the more that liquor will feed off your body and emotions. The longer you stay in the darkness, the less of a desire you’ll have for the light. This situation is fucked up, but you’re Elite Benson. This ain’t shit you can’t handle and come out of.”
“That’s just the thing, sis. I feel like getting ready to just plead guilty and do my time. If Jah doesn’t come clean, the pictures alone will get me convicted.”
“So what do we have to do to get her to tell the truth?”
“Shit, I don’t know. I thought with time she would change her mind and do the right thing, but I guess I thought too highly of her. Either way, I need to regain control of this situation.” Standing, Elite decided, “If I’ma go down for this shit, it’ll be my way. Jacintha has taken enough from me. I’m not going to let her take my freedom, but if I have to, I will give that shit up.”
??????
“I just… feel like a failure,” he confessed after Nicole’s probing.
They’d gone to Stoney River for lunch and Nicole had finally gotten Elite to open up.
“My marriage is over, and even though I know what she did was wrong, there’s a part of me that wants to make it work. I meant my vows, you feel me? So I’m battling between feeling like a fool for wanting to take my wife back and getting a divorce whether I want it or not. She was unhappy and I didn’t realize how much, so I have to take responsibility for that.
“Maybe if I would have been more present and put forth more effort…” Elite paused and sighed. “I don’t know, sis. I’m just all over the fucking place. I want to strangle Jacintha’s neck, but I want to just… take her in my arms and…” Gritting his teeth, Elite stared out into the distance as his thoughts got the better of him. “I didn’t tell her about the vasectomy, so I feel guilty about that too.
“Maybe if I would have, she would have left me and never cheated.” His head shook. “I keep trying to find ways to take accountability for this because she won’t. Keep trying to figure out ways this could have been avoided ’cause I don’t ever want to be in a position like this again.”
Nicole’s head tilted as she stared at her brother-in-law. “Do you want my opinion as a woman, or do you want to just vent?”
“I feel better already just getting that shit out, but if you have something to say, go ahead.”
“First of all, I don’t want you obsessing over what could have been done differently. Secondly, only take accountability for the things you actually did wrong. Third, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make your marriage work. Fourth, you love that woman, that’s clear. Unconditionally. The grace and mercy you show her is completely up to you. You’re the only person who will have to deal with the choices you make. What I will say is, it’s going to hurt either way. Whether you divorce her and heal and move on or try to make things work, you’re going to hurt. So you need to decide which hurt you want to grow through.”
