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His heart dropped. He didn’t want to show how he was feeling on his face, so he kept his expression blank as he nodded. Though Sincere was aware of her battle with cancer in the past, it wasn’t a subject they talked about often. All he knew, obviously, was that she survived, and that was good enough for him.
Even though he knew there was a possibility for the cancer to come back, so much time had passed that he’d honestly forgotten and considered her to be one of the lucky ones. Now, it appeared her luck had run out. Still, Sincere was confident she would be able to beat it, just as she’d done in the past.
“Okay.” Sincere swallowed hard and sat up in his seat. “We’re going to get through this.” She smiled with a shake of her head as her eyes closed. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
“Thank you,” Faith muttered, refilling her wine glass.
“What’s the first step? Chemo?”
Her head shook. “I’m not doing that.”
“You’re not doing what?”
Faith met his eyes, gripping the stem of her wine glass tighter. “Chemo.”
He nodded. “Okay. Then what other options are there?”
She smiled bitterly with a shake of her head as she looked away. “None. I’m not fighting it this time.”
Sincere’s face twisted up. His heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. As calm and empathetic as he wanted to be, her nonchalant tone and short statements were starting to irritate him.
“The fuck you mean you aren’t fighting it this time?”
“I mean exactly what I said. I’m not putting my body through that again. I’mtiredof this shit, Sincere.”
“Bae…” His voice shook, causing him to clear his throat as he stood and walked over to her. Kneeling before her, Sincere took her hand into his. Squeezing her eyes together tightly, her head shook as her chin trembled. “If you don’t fight this, you’re going to die. Is that what you want?”
Her tears finally fell as she licked her lips. “Of course I don’twantto die.” Faith’s eyes opened. “But I’m tired of going to the clinic three or five times a week and feeling like shit. And I’m not doing the surgery again. Or radiation. I’m tired of it all, Sincere.”
Gritting his teeth, Sincere stood and sat in the chair next to hers. “We can talk about this later. I know you’re probably overwhelmed and…”
“There’s nothing for us to talk about,” Faith interrupted. “I’m not doing chemo. Period.”
She stood, snatching the bottle of Port off the table in the process. Following behind her, Sincere asked, “So what? I’m supposed to just watch you suffer and die?”
“You can leave.”
“Yeah, so you can say I left you just like your first husband did.”
Faith scoffed. “That’s exactly why I don’t talk to you about him because I knew you would throw him up in my face every chance you could get.”
“When have I ever thrown him up in your face, Faith? You don’t tell me enough about him or anything else for that matter for me to throwshitin your face,” he yelled, feeling his anger rise.
“Don’t yell at me, Sincere.”
Grabbing her arm, Sincere spun her around and kept her from walking into their bedroom. They had a rule not to argue inside their sacred space, and she knew that, which was why she was trying her hardest to go inside.
“You just told me that your cancer has returned a second time…”
“Fourth,” she corrected. Sincere’s head tilted and he blinked. Mouth opened and closed… yet nothing came out. “This is the fourth time it’s come back.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly.
“I didn’t think it mattered.” Faith shrugged as he released her arm. “I also didn’t want it to make you look at me like I was some fragile, sickly woman. Maybe I thought it would keep you from wanting to be with me. I don’t know.”
“Faith,” he called softly, pulling her into his chest. “I’m so sorry. You have to talk to me about this so I will be able to try and understand where you’re coming from.”
She nodded, wrapping her arms around him. “Then you understand why I don’t want to do the chemo again?”
