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“Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?” I watch a slow smile spread across Sebastian’s face, but he only shakes his head side to side.
“You’re going to have to wait and find out,” he says, his eyes remaining on the road as we merge onto the freeway.
“You realize that I could get in big trouble for this. If my mom calls Courtney’s house and finds out I’m not there, I’ll probably be grounded for the rest of my life.” I try to guilt him into telling me.
“Nice try.” He chuckles, reaching over the middle console to squeeze my thigh. “But we both know your mom is working tonight, and if she needs you she will call your cell—not Courtney’s house.”
“You’re really not going to tell me?” I whine, giving him my best pouty-lipped frown when he throws a quick glance in my direction.
“That’s not going to work on me, Tessa Wilson. I know all your tricks.” He laughs next to me.
I’ve been super nervous about this night away since Sebastian brought it up last week. With it being so close to Christmas, he wanted us to have some time alone before we both became busy with family obligations, but up to this point, he’s refused to tell me where exactly it is that we’re going.
“You’re no fun,” I huff playfully, crossing my arms in front of myself.
“Oh, I’ll be plenty of fun later. Don’t you worry.” He throws me a wink before his gaze goes back to the road.
My stomach tightens in both excitement and fear. I knew going in that tonight would probably bethenight. We’ve been skirting around it for weeks, things getting a lot more heated between us after the Halloween party. At this point the only sexual experience I’ve yet to have with Sebastian is sex.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared—hell, I’m terrified—but I think more than anything I just want it to happen already. I want to cross this last hurdle and feel like I can give myself to Sebastian freely without my virginity hanging over our heads.
We remain silent for the next several minutes, Sebastian humming quietly along with the music playing on the radio. It isn’t until about forty-five minutes into our drive that I realize where we’re heading, and the instant I do, a wide smile spreads across my face.
Sebastian chooses this moment to glance in my direction, chuckling when he catches my expression.
“Took you long enough.” He snags my hand, wrapping his fingers around it.
“You’re taking me to New York?” I ask in disbelief.
“I figured if you were going to plan your future around going to school here, you might want to experience it first.” He falls silent for a long moment before adding, “I wanted to be the one to take you for the first time, that way the city will always hold a piece of us in it, something you can keep with you when we’re not together.” There’s an air of sadness around his words, but I choose to ignore what that statement might mean for us.
I know our future is uncertain. With Sebastian’s graduation less than six months away, I know there is still so much to figure out. I just can’t bring myself to bring it up. And while I know Sebastian has been talking to a couple different schools that have shown interest in him playing ball for them, he’s yet to really discuss it with me in any great detail. I think we’re both hesitant to face what we know is coming.
A part of me is hoping that wherever the future takes us that we will find a way to make it work. I can’t even entertain the idea that this will come to an end. When I think aboutmyfuture, he’s part of every single scenario. I’m just not sure if it’s the same for him.
As much as I want him to choose me, to pick a school close by so we can be together, I’d also never forgive myself for holding him back should he choose to stay behind for my sake. So it’s kind of a catch twenty-two. I can’t win either way, so I’ve made a deal with myself not to think too much on it until that time comes.
“Hey.” Sebastian squeezes my hand. “Where’d you go?” he asks, clearly picking up on my suddenly sullen mood.
“Nowhere. Sorry.” I shake it off, forcing a smile to my lips. “I’m just—nervous,” I admit, addressing another hot topic on my mind right now.
“There’s no pressure here, Tess, you know that,” he reassures me.
“No, I know. That’s not it. I want to, Sebastian. Ireallywant to,” I say, knowing I don’t need to say exactly what it is I want to do.
“It’s normal to be nervous. And if you decide tonight’s not the night, I’m not going to be upset. I planned this to spend time with you, not to pressure you into anything.”
“I love you.” The statement just leaves my lips without thought. I don’t need to think about loving Sebastian or sharing the words with him, it’s one part of our relationship that comes effortlessly.
“I love you more.” He grins.
“Not possible.”
“Very possible.”
“You’re delusional.” I laugh, loving this back and forth banter we always share when one person tells the other they love them. It’s like our thing now.
“Shut up and look.” Sebastian chuckles, gesturing out the windshield where the city is now in full view.
