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I could never picture her being a mom. Even after I learned from Courtney that Bree was pregnant, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. But seeing her now, it’s clear just how very wrong I had been to assume she couldn’t make it work. Not only has she made it work, but she’s a natural at it. It’s clear to see that Jack is her world, and that she is his.
Watching the two of them together makes me feel something I can’t quite explain. A sense of longing almost, though I’m not sure what exactly I’m longing for…
A child?
A family?
Bree?
I shake off the thought, knowing it’s never going to happen. Well, not the last part anyway. I sealed that deal when I decided to start dating one of her best friends my senior year.
Bree, Courtney, and Tess were thick as thieves in high school, and from what I can tell still are. Too bad I didn’t realize just how strong the pull was with Bree before I was balls deep in Courtney.
Trust me, I know how fucking big of an asshole move pining after my girlfriend’s best friend was. But I was seventeen, and I recognized something familiar in her. It was slow growing, something that built over the course of my senior year, and by the time I really grasped how my feelings had morphed it was already too late.
And not just because of Courtney.
Bree was getting ready to give birth to Jackson and preparing for her move to California, while I was weeks out from moving to Boston for the next four years. You would think the pregnancy thing would have lessened my attraction to her, but truth be told, I think it only intensified it.
So I did the only thing I knew to do, I ended things with Courtney and washed my hands of the entire situation. I knew back then what I still know now: Bree Kingsley is and will always be the one girl I missed out on.
I made my peace with this a long time ago. But being here with Bree, seeing her smile and laugh, reminds me of the girl I used to know. The one who I couldn’t stop thinking about for months. The one who controlled my thoughts long after I had moved away and let her go.
“Hey.” Bree plops down on the bench next to me, pulling me from my thoughts as she lets out an exhausted breath.
“Good to see I’m not the only one wore out.” I chuckle when I glance over to see her head back, eyes closing for the briefest moment.
“I think I’m losing energy. Someone needs to feed me,” she whines playfully, spreading her hands across his slender stomach.
“Mama!” Jack chooses this moment to launch himself into his mother’s lap and she quickly jerks upright, arms going around him so he doesn’t fall to the ground. “I’m hungry.” He bounces up and down on her legs.
“You were saying?” I chuckle.
“Can we get chebutt and French fries?” he asks, continuing to bounce.
I quirk a brow at Bree. “Chebutt?” I mouth.
A small laugh escapes her mouth. “Ketchup,” she mouths back. “He knows how to say it but for some reason he won’t. It has always been chebutt.” She shakes her head. “How about we go to Charlie D’s?” She turns her attention back to Jack who nods his head excitedly.
“Charlie D’s?” I ask, having never heard of it.
“It’s a little local burger joint a couple blocks from the apartment. It’s Jack’s favorite place to eat.”
“Sounds good.” I say, realizing just how hungry I am myself. “Charlie D’s is it.”
It’s just after nine when Bree finally emerges from Jackson’s room. She looks exhausted, hair falling from her ponytail around her face, eyelids heavy. Fuck if she isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“Get him down okay?” I ask when she slides down onto the couch next to me, pulling her legs up in front of herself.
“Finally.” She gives me a lazy smile. “I swear my grandparents pump him full of candy before sending him home to me. He’s never as hyper as he is after he comes home from Nana’s and Papaw’s.”
“That’s what grandparents are for.” I grin, knocking my arm against hers.
“Yeah, that’s their excuse too.” She tries to stifle a yawn.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep? I should probably take off anyway,” I say, sliding forward on the couch.
“You’re leaving?” She sounds disappointed, and fuck if that doesn’t annihilate every ounce of motivation I have to go anywhere.
