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“Okay, but only one. My grandma is dropping Jackson at the apartment on her way to dinner, so I’ve got to be home in two hours tops.”
“I promise I will have you home in time.” His smile widens as he wraps his hand around mine and pulls me out of the restaurant.
“So did they say when they want you to start?” I wait until the waitress has sat our two draft beers on the bar table and walked away before asking.
“Monday,” he says, taking a long pull of beer.
“Wow. That’s fast,” I say, mirroring his action and taking a drink of my beer.
“I know, there’s a shit ton of stuff I have to do over the next five days, but I’m glad to not have to wait. This living off of savings and putting out my friends is for the fucking birds.”
“Please.” I swipe my hand through the air and then pause before asking, “So I’m assuming you’ll be staying with us full-time now?” I wish my voice didn’t sound so hopeful. The truth is I love having Ant around.
“A month at most. Once I can show a reporting income I’ll be able to start looking for apartments. You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Are you kidding?” I give him a look that says he should know better by this point. “You practically live with us now.” I point out. “And we love having you.”
“You seriously have saved me these past couple of weeks. Hanging out with you and Jack has been amazing. I really can’t thank you enough for letting me crash your space.”
“What are friends for if not to offer up their couch to a friend in need?”
“Well, you didn’t have to and I really appreciate it. Seriously, Kingsley, you’re a gem.” He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, and I swear the entire left side of my body feels the effects.
“Yeah. Yeah.” I blow it off, pulling my hand back to grip my beer in an effort to compose myself. “You just remember that when I come knocking on your door one day.”
“Done and done.” He grins, wide and genuine.
“I’m assuming you’ll need to get your stuff from Sebastian’s?”
“What’s not already at your apartment, yes.”
“If you can wait till tomorrow, I’d love to ride over with you and visit Tess for a little bit if that’s cool.”
“Yeah, I’d love the company.”
“Jack has pre-school from nine to twelve thirty, and I can have my grandma pick him up after that so we don’t have to rush.”
“Sounds good. Maybe after we get back the three of us can go out to a nice dinner and celebrate both of our new jobs.”
“I’d like that.”
“Me too,” he offers, staring at me for a long moment before adding, “I’m really glad I ran into you that day at Sebastian’s. I didn’t realize how much I had missed you until you were standing right in front of me.”
My heart instantly picks up speed.
“I know what you mean,” I agree, taking a drink of beer just to avoid having to say more because, honestly, what more can I say.
“It feels like months ago doesn’t it?” He continues without waiting for an answer. “I look at you and Jack and feel like we’ve been here forever. It’s only been what, a month, and already I can’t picture me without the two of you.”
A tight knot lodges in my throat, and I try so hard to swallow it down, but once it’s there it seems impossible to get rid of.
“He’s such an amazing kid.” He continues. “And you, you’re a natural Bree. That boy is so lucky to have you as his mom.”
“Thank you.” I push past the emotion welling inside of me long enough to answer.
Ant doesn’t know my past, not entirely. Maybe bits and pieces he’s picked up along the way, but he has no way of knowing the magnitude of the statement he just made. Because that’s been my biggest fear all along—that Jack could do better than me. I doubted my ability to be what he needed from the very beginning and honestly teetered on adoption for a very long time. It wasn’t until I felt him move inside me that first time that I knew there was no way I could give him away.
But even after that, even after holding him in my arms for the very first time and knowing I would never love someone the way I loved that little baby, I still doubted that I was what was best for him. I’ve tried to do right by him. To protect him and put him first in a way my mother never did for me. I guess hearing someone say it out loud—to have someone acknowledge that maybe I’m doing something right—is validation I didn’t realize until this very moment that I needed.
