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“We haven’t figured out everything yet.” She smiles up at Sebastian before meeting my gaze again. “But I think we’ve decided on an April wedding in Connecticut. You know how much I love spring. You and Court will be co-maid of honors of course, and we would love for Jackson to be our ring bearer.”
“Yes and yes.” I smile wider. “It would be an honor to stand next to you on your wedding day.”
“And what about you?” Sebastian chimes in, speaking directly to Ant. “Think you could parade around in a tux for a day and not lose our wedding rings.”
“I think I can handle that, man,” he says, clinking his beer bottle against Sebastian’s.
“Boys.” Tess giggles, watching the interaction between the two.
The next two hours fly by. We talk and laugh and drink like there’s no place in the world we’d rather be, and for the most part that’s true. As much as I’m enjoying myself, the more I drink the more I just want to go home and be alone with Ant. I’ve spent the entire evening trying to push down the thought, but it keeps creeping in over and over again.
Several times over the course of the evening, Ant has done something that has only intensified this fact. From holding my hand under the table to squeezing my thigh when no one is looking; he’s got me so worked up at this point it’s a wonder I haven’t split apart at the seams.
He’s been very attentive all evening, making sure I have everything I need—asking the waitress for a refill when he notices my drink is low or having her bring me more dressing for my salad because he knows I like extra dressing—all without me having to say a word.
On more than one occasion I’ve caught Tess looking at us funny, but I’ve chosen to ignore it. I have to remind myself that I’m a grown woman and while she may be my best friend, that doesn’t mean she’s my parent. I can do whatever the hell I want with whomever I want.
Unfortunately, I don’t actually believe any of that. It’s just my way of trying to justify the behavior between Ant and I and how I’ve practically been eating right out of the palm of his hand all night.
So needless to say, when Tess announces she has to go to the ladies’ and gives me a look that tells me I’m coming with her, it’s the last thing I actually want to do.
“I’ll go with you,” I hear myself say because, honestly, how can I not go with her when she’s looking at me like that.
“We’ll be right back,” she says to Sebastian as she stands.
I avoid looking at Ant as I slide out of the booth and follow quickly behind her. It isn’t until the bathroom door snaps closed behind us that I realize just how transparent I’ve been tonight, the alcohol making it too easy to get caught up in how Ant makes me feel.
“What’s going on with you and Ant?” She immediately turns to face me, her cheeks slightly flushed.
“What?” I play stupid.
“Don’t what me, Bree. It’s a pretty straightforward question. What is going on with you and Ant?”
“Nothing,” I insist, a slight shake in my voice.
“You’re a shit liar. You think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been looking at him all night, the way he’s been looking at you. I’m not stupid. You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”
I hate that she instantly jumps to that conclusion, like I’m incapable of not immediately hopping into bed with someone the moment they show me any attention.
“Of course not.” I can hear the defensiveness in my tone. “He’s my friend. That’s it.”
“I don’t believe you.” She crosses her hands over her chest.
“Wow. Way to trust your best friend.”
“I do trust you, Bree, but I also know you. You’re not being honest with me, either that or you’re not being honest with yourself.”
“Do I like having him around? Yes. Do I plan on shacking up with him? No. He’s Courtney’s ex-boyfriend. He’s off limits.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince her or myself at this point, but either way, I’m not doing a very good job.
“Bree, listen, I love you. If you tell me you have a thing for Ant, I won’t judge you. I just need to know that you’re not setting yourself up to get hurt.”
“I’m not,” I insist. “You know me, I’m impenetrable.” I put on the brave act I’ve been wearing most of my life. Too bad that’s all it is, an act. I’m pretty sure Tess knows it too.
“The way he looks at you,” she says, leaving the statement hanging for a long moment. “It’s like...it’s like you’re the only person in the room. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him look at someone that way.”
“Not even Courtney?” I ask, feeling my resolve slip away.
“Not even Courtney.” She shakes her head like she’s not sure what to make of that.
