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“Liver failure. Ant found out yesterday. I tried to convince him to go home, but he refuses. Says his dad is already dead as far as he’s concerned.”
“Wow.” She seems genuinely shocked by this news.
“Yeah, guess I’m not the only one with the fucked up family.” I sigh. “I just can’t believe I never knew about any of it.”
“None of us did.” She reaches out and takes my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I can see you want to, but it won’t do you or him a bit of good. All you can do is be there for him now.”
“I think I’m in love with him,” I blurt, needing to say it out loud so badly that it’s off my lips before I even have a chance to think it through.
“Tell me something I don’t already know.” She gives me a look that says she knows me that well.
“Am I that transparent?”
“With this, yes.”
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. He makes me feel real, if that makes sense. Like being with him is my first dose of what life can actually be like.”
“Love has a way of changing the way we see things,” she agrees.
“I don’t know what to do now.”
“Just follow your heart. Take it from someone who spent years blocking hers out, you don’t want to ignore this feeling. Love… it’s all that really matters at the end of the day. The people you love and the ones who love you. That’s what life’s all about.”
“Look at you getting all philosophical on me,” I tease, feeling the tension in the room lift significantly.
“You know I’m here for you, right? Whatever you need.” She smiles but otherwise ignores my comment.
“I know. Can you please keep this between us for right now, until I can figure out what I want to do?”
“Like you even have to ask.” She pulls me into a hug, and I immediately relax in her embrace.
Knowing Tess is behind me, no matter what I decide, makes me feel like I can do anything. Of course, Tess is only part of the equation, and there is still Courtney to consider. But I know Tess is right, Court loves me. And she and Ant were a long time ago.
I’m playing out the possibilities of what could be for the remainder of the night, and by the time we exit the restaurant less than an hour later, I feel a sense of optimism I’m not sure I’ve ever possessed before.
I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, things might work out okay for me after all.
