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“I’m not scared you’ll hurt me. I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” My statement seems to catch him off guard a bit, and it takes a long moment for him to respond.
“Why would you think you’ll hurt me?”
“Because I will.”
Whether it’s Courtney or the scars of my past, I know myself too well to know that there’s no way I won’t fuck this up some way or another. The truth is, I’ve never been in arealrelationship before, at least not a healthy one. I’m not sure I’m capable of it, to be honest.
“You won’t hurt me.” Ant’s hand slides around, gripping the back of my neck as he pulls me closer.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I won’t let you,” he whispers against my lips, pressing them to mine so gently that I have to physically force down the emotion that wells in my throat.
“Ant,” I finally say, managing to force myself to pull away.
“I know. I know. Not yet.” He shakes his head, sitting back in his seat. “It’s fucking impossible, you know that?” He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a breath. “To sit here next to you, knowing you feel the same way and not being able to do a damn thing about it.”
“I know,” I agree. “But if we want any shot at making this work, I need to do right by my friend.”
“I know, I get it. But please tell me you will talk to her sooner rather than later. I don’t know how much longer I can keep my hands to myself.” He smirks, and it’s the first real indicator that the situation hasn’t turned too heavy between us.
“Well, I guess you’ll just need to practice a little self-control, Mr. Treadway,” I joke, scooting back into my seat and snapping my seatbelt in place.
“With you, Kingsley, I’m not sure that’s possible.” He gives me a wide grin, and the weight that’s been sitting on my shoulders since this conversation began instantly lifts, and I take my first real breath in minutes.
“Well, it’s gonna have to be, now isn’t it.”
“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.” He shakes his head on a laugh, shifting the truck into drive before pulling back out onto the street.
