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“You ready, buddy?” I smile at Jackson as I pull open the back door and help him from the car.
He slides out excitedly, eyes wide as he looks up at his new school. I swear I’m a nervous wreck, but Jack seems anything but. I do gain some comfort in the knowledge that he’s excited to start school and not the other way around.
“Now remember what I said—just be yourself and everyone will love you.” I kneel in front of him, helping him into his book bag.
“I know, Mom.” He sighs dramatically, probably sick of hearing me say it a million times over.
“I think he’s got this, Bree.” I hear Ant chuckle behind me.
Throwing him a playful glare over my shoulder, I slowly stand, taking Jack’s hand in mine.
“And remember, if you get lost, find an adult and tell them you’re in Mrs. Jones’ class,” I say, leading him up the sidewalk toward the front doors.
“I know, Mom,” he repeats again.
“And don’t climb up on top of the monkey bars on the playground. I’ve seen so many kids doing that, and you don’t want to fall and hurt yourself. And make sure to use your manners. And be nice to all your classmates. And, and…”
“Hey.” Ant stops my rant with a gentle squeeze to my shoulder. “He’s going to be fine,” he says under his breath so only I can hear.
I meet his gaze, taking a deep breath in before letting it out slowly. I swear I’ve been on the verge of tears since we left the house twenty minutes ago and, truthfully, I’m not sure how I’ve fought them off this long.
Nodding, I give him a weak smile as we slow to a stop just outside of Jackson’s Kindergarten classroom.
“Alright, buddy, here we are.” I smile down at my son, feeling an overwhelming wave of both sadness and pride rush through me.
“You’re going to do great, kiddo.” Ant reaches over and rustles his hair.
“Nana is going to be here to pick you up in a little bit, and I’ll see you when I get home from work, okay.” I lean down and drop a kiss to the top of Jackson’s head. “I love you so much.”
“Mom,” he whines, batting me away.
“Hey.” I grab his chin gently and lift his face upward. “I said I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom. Can I go already?” He taps his foot impatiently.
“Okay, okay. You can go.” I take a step back and let him pass through the doorway.
It feels like just yesterday that I was holding this little miracle in my arms for the first time. At seventeen, I didn’t have a single clue what the hell I was doing, but I was determined to be a good mom, no matter what. I like to think I’ve done pretty well so far.
And now here I am just five years later, watching my messy-haired kid skip excitedly into his new classroom. Parents and other children bustle all around us, but my eyes are only focused on him.
Ant reaches over and squeezes my hand, sensing that I need support. He always seems to know exactly what I need, how to ground me when I feel myself slipping.
“He’s going to be fine,” he whispers words of encouragement while I do my best not to melt into a puddle of tears.
Just when I’m not sure I can hold them in any longer, Jackson spins around and offers us an excited wave. The pure happiness on his little face is enough to calm my fears and remind me what a bright, brave little boy I’ve raised.
“Yeah, he is.” I turn my smile to Ant who winks before leading me away from the classroom, back through the busy hallway, and out into the warm morning sun, not letting go of my hand until we’ve reached my car.
“Thank you for coming with me.” I turn toward him. “I’m not sure I could’ve gotten through this without you.”
I was initially unsure about Ant coming with me today, afraid that it might send the wrong message. But then I realized that it really doesn’t matter. Jack is too young to really understand the changes happening between Ant and me, and I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. As far as all these other parents know Ant is Jackson’s father, and I’m okay with that. More than okay with it, in fact.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Thank you for letting me come.” He gives me one of his megawatt smiles, the ones that always send my heart into overdrive. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for work if we don’t get a move on.”
“The last thing I want to do is go to work right now,” I admit, climbing into the driver’s seat.
“Then let’s not.” Ant grins mischievously as he slides into the passenger seat next to me.
