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“It’s just, I don’t know.” He seems to lose himself in thought for a long moment.
“You’re worried that if she’s here all the time you won’t be able to maintain the line you two have drawn in the sand for reasons I’ll never understand.”
“That’s not it,” he objects, quickly correcting himself. “Okay, maybe it is.” He sighs.
“You clearly have feelings for this girl. Why not do both of you a favor and tell her. If I had to guess I’d say she probably feels the same way.”
“You don’t even know her. You can’t make that assumption before you’ve even met someone.”
“Fair enough.” I nod slowly. “But I know you, kid. I know that look. This girl has got you hook, line, and sinker. Might as well make your move now rather than spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”
“What do you suggest I do? Walk up to her the minute she gets here and pronounce my love for her.”
“So you are in love with her.” I smirk.
“And you wonder why I called you an asshole.” He pushes away from the railing, pulling open the front door just moments later.
“Kam.” I chuckle when he throws me a glare over his shoulder before disappearing inside.
Man, that girl must have him even tighter than I realized. That only makes me even more curious about her. Kam has the attention span of a toddler. If she’s that under his skin then she must be something special. I just hope for his sake he doesn’t get hurt.
****
Present day
I don’t want to look at her. Looking at her makes me think of Kam and thinking about Kam hurts too fucking much right now. And yet I can’t stop myself from stealing glances at her out of the corner of my eye.
It’s easy to see what Kam saw in her. She’s beautiful.
Her long blonde waves are drenched, sticking to the back of her dress. Her mascara is smeared and her eyes are bloodshot, and still I think she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen up close.
I remember the first time I met her. Kam was so nervous. A semblance of a smile plays on my lips as I recall how quickly he swept her away moments after making the introduction. I had barely recovered from the shock of laying eyes on her for the first time before he was pulling her away to meet other family members and friends, clearly worried I would be an asshole to her, as he had so bluntly put it.
Of course that didn’t stop me from watching her all night. I knew she belonged to Kam. There was no question in my mind there. I could tell by the way she leaned into him every time she got the chance. By the way she looked up at him like he was the only person she could see. If Kam was worried she didn’t feel the same way his worry was definitely misplaced. It was clear to anyone who cared to look; those two were crazy about each other.
I still don’t fully understand why they never got together. It’s something I tried talking to Kam about a few times over the years but he was adamant that pursuing anything would ruin their friendship. Honestly I think he was just scared for what he felt for her. And now she’ll never know.
The thought brings everything back to the forefront of my mind. I have to keep reminding myself that Kam is gone. My brother is dead. And here I am, sitting next to the girl he secretly loved for years, wishing it was me laying in that grave and not him.
Elara shifts next to me, discreetly trying to wipe a tear away without drawing attention to herself. I catch sight of the brace on her arm, remembering that not only did she lose Kam but she was there when he died.
Fuck this was a bad idea.
My chest tightens and I feel my own emotion threatening to spill to the surface. I shake my head trying to pull myself together.
“Do you want to go somewhere?” I ask without actually meaning to.
“What?” She looks at me, her brows pulling together in confusion.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“And do what?”
“Fuck, I don’t know. Anything but this.” I gesture around us. “Why don’t we get a bite to eat?”
“I’m not hungry,” she quickly replies, turning her gaze back out to the water.
“Look, I get that we aren’t friends and that you probably don’t like me and that’s okay. But right now can we just pretend that we are? Because I don’t know about you but I could really use a friend right now.”
