AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Kane: Have you changed your mind yet?
It’s the same message I’ve gotten from Kane every single day since I arrived home three days ago. In fact, it’s the only message I’ve gotten from him.
I stare at the screen of my phone for a long time, wondering if Ihavechanged my mind. Am I actually considering this as a possibility? I mean,Italy. Never mind anything else. Wouldn’t it be idiotic to turn something like this down?
I have the ability to go. I don’t technically have a job yet and thanks to Kam I already have my passport and all the things required to travel outside of the country. We had been talking about going somewhere exotic to celebrate college graduation during the weeks leading up to the ceremony. Kam had his heart set on Mexico whereas I just wanted to be with him. It didn’t matter where we ended up. And since that trip never happened, maybe this is my chance to get away…
Don’t be stupid, Elara.I scold myself.
Yes, the offer is tempting. And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t laid in bed imagining what a trip like that could be like the last couple of nights. To be able to just disappear for a while. Exist in a completely different place where there are no memories, no ghosts, no past following me around. A place where I can let all of that go and focus on me for a while.
I could go see where my family comes from. I could try new foods and sight see. I could meet new people and experience a different way of life.
Am I talking myself into this?
I wish I could say that going to Italy is the only thing weighing on my mind but that wouldn’t be the truth. I’ve also thought about Kane, a lot. I’ve thought about what it would be like to go away with him. About what he’s really like when he lets someone in. I’ve imagined us walking the streets of Italy, eating dinner together, stopping in little local shops so I can buy things for my Dad and Aunt Carol.
It’s picture perfect and yet it just doesn’t quite fit. Maybe it’s because Kane isn’t Kamden. Maybe it’s because after everything I don’t feel like I deserve something like this. Or maybe it’s because deep down I know how insane it would be to pick up and fly half way across the world with a man I don’t really know.
Then again, I’ve always been known to push the boundaries. Why stop now?
Remember what happened the last time you got a crazy idea, El.Kamden’s voice is clear in my mind, almost like he’s sitting right next to me… Like I need the reminder.
I shake off the thought, dropping my phone face down on the table in front of me.
“Everything okay?” my dad asks, pulling my attention to where he’s sitting directly across from me, slicing his steak with a knife that appears to be too dull. “You were staring at your phone pretty intensely there.” He points his fork in the direction of the device.
“Yeah, fine.” I shrug, poking at my baked potato.
“You know, you’re as bad of a liar as your mother was.” He chuckles, waiting until I meet his gaze before continuing, “She could never make eye contact when she was lying. Gave her away every time. So tell me, peanut, what’s on that phone that has you looking so conflicted.”
“You’d think I was crazy if I told you.”
“Try me.” He smiles, the wrinkles around his deep brown eyes seeming to have multiplied overnight. Not that they haven’t been there for a long time but I just now seem to be noticing how much my father has aged.
“Does it have to do with a boy?” he asks when I still haven’t said anything. His inquiry makes me feel like I’m sixteen years old all over again.
“It’s complicated,” I admit, setting my fork next to my plate.
“A boy you like?” he pushes, giving me that knowing dad smirk.
“That’s a hard question to answer,” I admit. “It’s not really like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
“It’s Kamden’s older brother, Kane.” I sigh. “He made me an offer and while I think it would be insane to accept it, I’m having a hard time justifying why I shouldn’t. Does that make sense?”
“Depends on the offer.” My dad gives me an encouraging smile.
“He asked me to go to Italy with him,” I blurt, the statement sounding even more absurd out loud.
“Oh.” He straightens his posture. “I didn’t realize you two were that close.”
“We’re not. That’s the problem.”
“I’m confused.” He scratches his chin like he’s not really sure what to say.
“Trust me, so am I.” I laugh, taking a drink of my tea before setting the glass back down.
