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Five months earlier…
“You promised we’d do dinner and a movie tonight,” I remind Kam, crossing my arms over my chest as I stare at him across the four-wheeler between us.
“I know, bean, but we can do dinner and a movie anytime.” He smiles, knowing I can’t stay mad at him when he looks at me like that.
“Nope. That’s not gonna work this time.” I hold my stance, shaking my head adamantly.
“Bean,” he says knowingly, crossing around the four-wheeler to stand in front of me.
“Don’t you ‘bean’ me! You’re totally bailing on me for some bimbo with big boobs and if you ask me, an abnormally large ass.” I pick her apart even though I know the girl in question is gorgeous. Of course she is, as is every girl Kam dates.
He’s never been in a serious relationship but he has started dating more over the last couple of years. I smile and pretend it doesn’t bother me but deep down I know it’s a lie. A façade for some reason I feel like I have to keep up.
“Sounds to me like someone is jealous,” he points out.
“I’m not jealous. I’m mad. You’re leaving me all alone on a Saturday night. What the hell am I going to do now?”
“El, why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re so upset?”
“I am telling you the real reason.”
“I think we both know you’re lying.” He takes a step toward me, closing the distance between us.
We’ve done this before–this song and dance–toeing the line between friendship and something more. But something about this feels different somehow.
“I’m not lying.” I act confused. When in doubt, confusion works best.
“Bean.” He narrows his gaze at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I question, panic rising in my chest.
“Because, you do this every time I have a date. And it doesn’t matter if I bail on you for it or not. Admit it, you hate that I go out with other girls.”
“I do not. I just don’t think they are good enough for you so I’m not sure why you waste your time,” I counter.
“As opposed to pining after someone I can’t have you mean?” My stomach instantly bottoms out and I have zero response to what he just said. I can take it so many ways but there’s only one way that matters and that’s what I want him to be saying. That he’s pining after me.
“What are…” I start, but Kam inches closer, his words drowning mine out.
“Tell me the real reason you’re mad that I have a date tonight, El,” he continues to challenge, his face so close to mine I can smell the sweetness of his favorite strawberry gum.
“I already told you,” I grind out.
“Tell me again.”
“Because you’re leaving me high and dry on a Saturday night.” I stick to my story.
“Tell me the truth, bean.” Both of his hands settle around my biceps and I instantly suck in a shaky breath.
“Kam.”
“The truth.”
“I can’t do this right now.” I try to avert his gaze but his hands tighten, holding me in place.
“We’ve done this for far too long, bean. I’m exhausted and quite frankly I don’t want to do this anymore. So I’m gonna ask you one last time to tell me the truth.” He pauses. “Tell me why you’re upset. The real reason.”
My eyes dart back and forth between his. Uncertainty and excitement both dance around in the pit of my stomach. I start to answer, second guess myself, and then move to answer again, only to stop myself.
