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“Lennon, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who has to watch her boyfriend ride off with possibly the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen in person.”
“I hate to break it to you, love, but you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.” He grins at me and for whatever reason it only further fuels my irritation.
“Don’t patronize me.” I huff, leaning back in my chair before crossing my arms in front of myself.
“I’m not.” His eyebrows draw together. “I’m not attracted to Anna. She’s pretty, yes, but you are the one with my heart. I mean it when I tell you; you have nothing to worry about.”
“Wouldn’t you worry? If the roles were reversed and I was touring with someone like Travis Travers, wouldn’t you be worried that maybe I’d be attracted to him or develop feelings for him after months on the road together?”
“I’d like to say no, that I’m above those types of feelings. But if I’m being honest here, yeah, I think I would worry a little bit. But, I’d like to think you know me better than that.”
“No offense, Hudson, but I found out two weeks ago that you had a wife you failed to tell me about.” Regret washes over me the moment the words leave my lips.
“So we’re back to that?” He lets out a slow breath and flips his hat forward facing, pulling it low over his eyes.
“No, we’re not. You’ve explained yourself and I’ve forgiven you for not telling me. But it doesn’t change the fact that there could be more you’re keeping from me or things you may choose to keep from me in the future. How would I know otherwise?”
“I guess you’re just going to have to choose to trust me.”
“I am choosing to trust you. It doesn’t mean I don’t have doubts.”
“What else do I have to do to show you I want this, Lennon? That I’m all in? I don’t fucking want Anna. I want you.”
“You say that now but we both know a lot can change in eight months.”
“You’re right. It can. And I can’t tell the future. What I can tell you is I love you and I would never hurt you that way. I need you to believe that.”
“I’m trying to,” I admit weakly. “It’s just hard. This whole thing is really, really hard.”
“We knew it was going to be tough but we made the decision that what we have is worth the bumpy ride. Tell me you’re still in this with me, Lennon.”
“I am. Of course I am. I’m just... God, I’m just being a stupid girl.” I blow out a hard breath.
“You’re not a stupid girl. You’re someone who has real concerns and that’s okay. What’s not okay is you trying to keep those concerns from me. I need to know you’re willing to share anything that’s bothering you and not let it fester. I’m not a mind reader, Lennon. I need you to speak what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it. If we want to make this work, we have to be completely transparent with one another, yeah?”
“Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I let one meeting with a pretty woman rattle me so much. There are hundreds of pretty women out there. I guess I just got in my head–knowing you’re going to be spending eight months on the road with her.”
“Do not apologize for how you feel. You have every right to be scared. Hell, I’m scared. You think I don’t worry about someone else coming along while I’m out on the road? That you’ll find someone who can be there for you and provide you with a stable life? Someone who will come home to you every night? Someone who can give you more than I can?”
I never even considered that he might be feeling the same sort of insecurities that I am.
“No one can give me more than you can.” I lean forward, reaching for his hand across the small table. “You’re all I’m ever going to want.”
“Then why is it so hard for you to believe that you’re all I’m ever going to want?”
“Fair enough.” I squeeze his hand.
“I know I’m the one leaving but I promise you, it doesn’t make it any easier for me. If anything it makes it harder. Knowing I’m the one doing this to us.”
“You aren’t doing anything to us. This is our life. These are our circumstances. Now we just have to learn to make the best of it.”
“I love you,” he says, smiling across the table at me.
“I love you too,” I say, feeling like my heart just did a complete summersault in my chest.
“What do you say we get out of here and I take you some place special?”
“I’d like that.” I smile, leaving my coffee untouched as Hudson takes my hand and helps me up from the table.
