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“Definitely not what I expected,” he reiterates his earlier comment. “Come on, we better pick up the pace if you want to make it to the creek and back before dark,” he says, avoiding my question as he pulls slightly ahead of me.
“Why did you really come to the ranch?” I ask, deciding I’d rather know more about him than about his opinion of me.
“You already know why.”
“Right. To work,” I say, disbelieving. “They don’t have jobs in Salt Lake City?”
“I needed a job outside of the city. I needed to get away. I think you of all people should be able to understand the need to escape.” He looks back over his shoulder for a moment.
“I left because what I wanted to do can’t be done from Swindell, Wyoming.”
“And I left because what I wanted for myself couldn’t be accomplished in Salt Lake City, Utah,” he counters.
“Fair enough.” I decide not to push the subject further as it’s clearly something he doesn’t want to talk about.
“Tell me about L.A.,” he prompts when I fall silent, halting Sheldon until I’ve caught up to him before leading the horse forward again.
“What do you want to know?”
“You went there to become an actress, right?” he asks, clearly having learned this from my family.
“I did.”
“And, what’s it like?”
“Over populated. Expensive. Impossible.” I release a deep sigh.
“Not what you’d hoped it’d be?”
“Actually, exactly what I expected. Well, from the city anyway. I don’t know why, but I thought pursuing acting would be a walk in the park.”
“I guess you go in with that mentality when you’re from a small town where everyone tells you you’re a star.”
“That’s not true,” I object, working really hard to not get offended.
“You sure about that?” He cocks a brow at me.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I remind him.
“Then enlighten me.”
“I mean, okay. For Swindell, Wyoming I was a pretty big deal. Especially in high school. And yes, the transition from being at the top here to all the way at the bottom when I moved to L.A. was a bit of a rocky one. But I didn’t go in with some delusion that I was the best. I simply believed I was good enough.”
“And now?”
“I still believe I’m good enough. But sometimes you need more than talent to stand out among all the others and that’s where I’ve struggled. How do you stick out in a crowd of hundreds of women with fake boobs and perfect teeth? Most of whom are willing to drop to their knees on a dime if it means getting their foot in the door. I may be willing to do close to anything for my big break, but I’ll never compromise who I am to do so.” I let out a deep sigh, realizing I unloaded a lot more on him than I meant to. “Sorry,” I quickly add.
“Don’t apologize. I asked a question and you gave me an honest answer.”
“It’s just frustrating. Anyway.” I shake my head. “I read for a couple of roles last week. One for a new paranormal television series. And the other is a supporting role in a thriller. I’m really holding out hope for the TV series, because the other is not really my cup of tea but at this point I’ll take anything. I just need one decent role that will give me a jumping off point.”
“I take it you’re hoping to get back there soon?”
“The sooner the better. Until then I’m going to fly out for auditions. It’s just too expensive to live there without a steady income coming in.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.”
“I always do. Knowing the game plan is key to keeping me on track. Otherwise I become distracted and lose sight of the finish line. I’ve sacrificed too much to throw in the towel now. It’s not a matter of if I make it, it’s when.”
