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“No,” I answer honestly, causing Chris to snort out a laugh.
“I was asking if you wanted to come to a bonfire at the Perkins’ farm with us. Johnson told me to make sure I invite you. He hasn’t seen you since before you left for L.A.”
“When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Sounds fun.” I nod, knowing I certainly don’t have anything better to do.
After Thad acted the way he did the other day, I’ve pretty much avoided him like the plague. In truth, it’s made knowing I’m leaving easier. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. Honestly I don’t want to be the one to extend the olive branch and I don’t feel like I should have to. I didn’t do anything wrong.
“Awesome. I have to pick up Beth on the way there, but you can ride with me to get her. Chris will meet us over there.”
“Or you can go with me instead of having to ride all the way to Beth’s house,” Chris suggests.
“Let’s do that,” I agree. I’d rather go ten minutes down the road then have to drive twenty minutes to turn around and come all the way back.
I straighten my back and stretch my hands over my head as I let out a slow yawn. I haven’t slept well the last couple of nights and it’s definitely starting to catch up with me.
Deciding to call it a night despite how early it still is, I hug Ben and then Chris, telling them I’ll see them tomorrow before heading inside.
I walk through the house and straight up the stairs without stopping in the living room to say anything to my parents who are both still awake. It’s not even nine o’clock and yet somehow it feels so much later to me.
At the top of the stairs I turn, stopping dead in my tracks when I nearly run face first into Thad who’s sporting damp hair and smells like a million dollars.
“Shit. Sorry.” I make a move to step around him but he spreads his stance, essentially blocking my path.
“Look at me.” His voice is a low plead that has my gaze instantly turning upward. “I’m sorry about the other day.” He clasps my chin in between his thumb and index finger, holding my face in place.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I shake off the fog he seems to cast over me and take a full step back, pushing his hand away. “You said your peace and you’re right, not everything is about me.” I force a smile before pushing past him.
I duck into my room as quickly as I can and shut the door behind me. Maybe it wasn’t the most mature reaction to have, but I refuse to let him talk to me the way he did. Make me feel the way he did. Then turn around and sweet talk me like it’s okay. It isn’t okay.
I’m only feet inside my bedroom when the door swings open and Thad steps inside, clicking the lock in place before he stalks toward me
“What the hell are you doing?” I barely manage to get out before he’s got me backed against the dresser, caging me in with his arms.
“Apologizing,” he growls, his mouth crashing down on mine.
At first I try to resist him but that resistance fails before it even takes flight. It’s only seconds before my body is melting against his and every single ounce of anger drains away.
I feel weak, pathetic even, bending the instant he touches me, but I can’t help it. It’s like he has this power over me that I simply cannot explain.
Which is why I don’t stop him when he pulls my shirt over my head. Or why instead of pushing him away, I whimper as he slides off my shorts and panties in one quick tug. And when he drops to his knees on the floor in front of me I swear I don’t know how I’m still standing, especially when the warm heat of his tongue slides along my seam seconds later.
—-
“Oh my god.” I burymy head into Thad’s neck as he thrusts inside of me two more times and then stills, both of us fighting to catch our breath.
Because my parents are downstairs we had to be quiet and controlled which somehow made the whole experience that much more intense. I swear every time I’m with Thad he shows me something more, another layer to himself. Whether that be physically or emotionally, I feel like I walk away from him each time understanding him a little more.
“I should go.” Thad slides out of me abruptly and rolls to the side.
“Already?” I sit up, pulling the sheet up over my chest as he climbs from the bed.
“It’s late. I don’t want your parents to catch me up here.”
“The longer you stay the less likely they’ll catch you,” I assure him, glancing at the clock to see it’s just after ten. “My father is probably still up.”
“So I’ll tell them I was taking a shower.” He slides his jeans on and does up the buckle before snagging his shirt from the floor.
“Why not just stay for a while?” I ask, trying not to let my emotions run away. It’s hard not to think the worst after you made love the way we did and now he can’t seem to get out of here fast enough.
“I shouldn’t.” He tugs on his shirt and heads straight for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He waits for me to nod before cautiously exiting the room, looking both ways before stepping into the hallway.
Without looking in my direction again, he closes the door, disappearing from view.
My heart pounds heavy in my chest, the slow ache starting in my stomach and working its way upward until I feel the crushing weight of it settling over my entire body. I have never had a man so desperate for me one minute and then running away from me the next. It makes me feel cheap and used and yet oddly enough it’s exactly what I offered him.
Sex. Without strings. No attachment. No expectations. That is precisely what he gave me. Only it’s not what I want anymore. It has never been what I truly wanted. I wanted him, and I wanted him anyway I could get him. He told me he couldn’t give me more and I accepted that. But then he gave me more anyway, whether he meant to or not. And now that I know what more feels like I can’t settle for less. And this is less. So much less.
