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“Friendship based on circumstance.” I brush it off like it meant nothing. “But I’m happy for him. That’s awesome.”
“It really is,” she agrees.
“Hey mom, I hate to rush off but I really need to get in the shower and try to get some sleep. I have to be on set first thing in the morning,” I say, eager to wrap up the conversation even though it’s not even eight o’clock and we’ve been on the phone for all of five minutes.
“Okay, of course. You get some sleep and we’ll talk soon.”
“Sounds good.”
“Love you, honey.”
“I love you too, Mom,” I say before quickly ending the call and collapsing onto my back in the middle of the bed.
I look around the hotel room that’s acted as my home for the past few weeks. It’s a nice enough place but there’s something so impersonal about hotel rooms. If Blood Lust gets picked up for a second season I’ll most definitely be leasing a house somewhere close to the set.
This brings my mind back to Thad and what I learned from my mom. I hate that I feel so disconnected from him. Someone I once felt very close to, at least for a short time.
I wish I could say that the time that has passed has somehow lessened my feelings for him, but in truth I think it’s only made them stronger. I don’t know how he managed to worm his way in so deep but it’s like he’s there now and there’s no getting rid of him.
I accept that I will probably always carry a piece of him with me. Because even though what we shared was short lived, he changed me in a way I can’t begin to describe. He opened my eyes up to things I didn’t even know I wanted and showed me what it felt like to let someone in completely. Something I’d never done before.
I don’t regret my time with Thad. Only that it didn’t turn out the way I had hoped it would. He’s clearly moving on and I think it’s time I start to do the same.
With that, I push myself out of bed and head toward the bathroom in desperate need of a shower and a good night’s sleep.
