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“Nothing for now,” she answers simply. “I don’t expect you to come home,” she says directly to Adam before her gaze slides to the rest of us. “And I don’t need anyone to do anything for me. But these next few months will be difficult, so I want everyone to prepare themselves. Just in case.”
“In case what?” Alex leans forward, his elbows resting on the table in front of him.
“In case she dies.” The words tumble from my lips unintentionally and every set of eyes in the room fall on me.
“Abel,” my father scolds, his forehead creasing.
“It’s all right, honey.” She reaches up and pats the hand he has resting on her shoulder. “Abel’s just saying what no one else wants to.” Her gaze comes back to me. “Yes, in case I die,” she confirms.
“I’ll fly in for your surgery.” Adam breaks the awkward silence that follows.
“You’ll do no such thing.” My mother shakes her head at the tablet. “I don’t want everyone fussing over me. Let’s see how the surgery goes. Then we will go from there.”
“I have the time available to take off work. I’d feel a lot better if I was there.”
“It’s really not necessary.”
“Mom,” Aaron interrupts. “We love you and we’reallgoing to be there for you.”
I can tell by the way her eyes glass over that she’s trying really hard to hold it together, though I’m not sure why. We’re her family. She should be able to tell us how she’s really feeling. But that’s not Mom. Even though we’re all grown, she’s still trying to protect us like we’re still kids.
“Okay then,” she concedes.
We spend the next several minutes listening to her tell us exactly what the game plan is and what to expect in the days to come. I listen to it all in a haze, not sure how to process what I’m hearing.
Mom has always seemed invincible to all of us. Andrew and I used to joke that she’d outlive us all. Finding out that she’s sick is hitting me a lot harder than I expected it to.
I sit in silence for most of the conversation, trying to digest everything I’m learning.
Aaron and Alex are the first to leave, followed shortly after by Andrew. I hang back for a few minutes, hoping to get some alone time with my mom.
While my parents are hard on me, it doesn’t change how much they mean to me. I know they do it because they want what’s best for me. I just wish I could convince them that what’s best for me is doing what makes me happy. I don’t measure success on the amount of money I make or the fancy title I have at work. In my family I’m in the minority with that way of thinking.
But despite our difference in opinions, I know my parents, especially my mom, would do anything for me. And I would do the same for them.
“Hey, Mom.” I step into the living room where she’s sitting on the couch with a book in her lap.
Despite everything that’s happening, the first person I think of is Finley. I’ve never met anyone who talks about books the way Finley does. When she talked about them, her whole face lit up and it’s like she floated away to another existence.
I smile despite myself.
“Hi, hon.” My mom sets the book on the end table and pats the seat next to her.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, crossing the room toward her.
“I’m okay.” She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I thought you left with your brothers.” Her gaze follows me as I claim the seat next to her.
“I have the night off. Thought I’d hang out here with you if that’s okay.” I settle back into the couch and reach for the remote. “Anything good on?” I ask, powering on the television.
“Jeopardy starts in five minutes.”
I smile, remembering all the times we’d sit around and watch Jeopardy when I was younger. We made somewhat of a competition out of it. Then again, with five boys in the house everything became a competition in some way, shape, or form.
“What’s the wager?” I ask, giving her a knowing look.
“How about the loser has to treat the other to dinner?”
“Oh you’re on.” I wink, selecting the channel I need before dropping the remote next to me.
