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I had convinced myself that I could wait until I was better, until I knew I was cancer free. But the truth is it was only a matter of time before I finally caved. I hate that it happened this way. I hate that he had to see me like this. But now that he knows I’ve been lying, I think it’s time he knows why. No matter how hard it will be to face him, I have to.
Like Claire said, maybe this will be a good thing. I don’t relish the idea of him seeing me, but if he wants to be in my life, this is my reality. I’m sick. Surgery didn’t magically fix me; it just gave me a fighting chance. Now it’s up to him to decide if I’m worth it. And maybe he’ll decide that I’m not. Not that I could blame him. He’s already dealing with a sick mom. A sick girlfriend might be too much for him. And that’s okay. I mean, I’ll be devastated but at the end of the day I’ll understand.
How much can I really ask from a man I only spent ten hours with?
Sure, we shared an undeniable connection. And yes, it was hands down the best night of my life. But it was only one night.Onenight. We’re talking about something so far beyond what he should have to deal with at this point in our relationship, if that’s even what you would call it.
Then again, nothing aboutushas been normal so why would this be any different? Maybe it’s because we’re not normal. Maybe the reason we’ve been so drawn toward each other is because we both know it’s right.
We don’t need weeks, or even months, or years to get to know each other. Or at least I don’t. I knew that very first night that I’d love him for the rest of my life. Granted, I expected my life to be a lot shorter at the time. But it still doesn’t change how I felt that night or how I’ve felt since then.
Abel is everything I want. I guess it’s time to see if I’m everything he wants... Sickness and all.
