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“Yeah. Actually my brother and a couple of his friends showed up.” I throw a quick glance at Aaron whose focus is solely on Henna, not paying one bit of attention to me.
“Boyfriends or girlfriends?”
“Girl.”
“Is that so?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“It’s not like that, Claire,” I quickly correct her.
“Look, all I’m saying is if itwerelike that, I’d be happy for you.”
“Well it’s not, so you can keep your happiness,” I say teasingly.
“Okay, well, you never know.”
“Claire.” I cut her off before she can say more.
“Okay. Okay.” She laughs. “I’ll let you get back to your friends. We still on for dinner tomorrow?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“K. See you then.”
“Bye, Claire.” I disconnect the call.
“Who was that?” Aaron asks as I shove my phone back into my pocket. Okay, so maybe he was listening.
“Claire.” I lift the beer bottle to my lips and take a pull.
“How’s she doing? I haven’t seen her since...” he trails off, clearly rethinking what he was going to say. Even though I already know. He hasn’t seen her since the funeral.
“She’s good.” I take another drink of beer, purposely not looking at Peyton.
It bothers me that I feel so off kilter around her. I don’t even know the girl, yet she’s made me feel more emotion in five minutes than I’ve felt in the last year combined. Albeit, mixed emotions, but emotions just the same.
You think she’s pretty.I can almost hear Finley as if she were standing right next to me.
Pretty, yes. But she’s not you.
“I think the band is getting ready to come out.” Henna offers the distraction we need, and I glance up to the stage right as the lights dim.
The band filters onto the stage within seconds and a heavy guitar riff fills the space. I try to keep my focus on them, but I have this gnawing feeling in my gut and I can’t keep myself from glancing down at Peyton who’s standing a couple feet to my right.
Her face is turned toward the stage, but something tells me she senses my eyes on her, because I no more than look at her and she’s looking back at me.
Finley’s face instantly flashes across hers and guilt slices through me. I quickly look away, taking another long drink.
I shouldn’t be here. It all feels wrong. I shouldn’t be exchanging stolen glances with another girl inourspot. I shouldn’t be standing here thinking how beautiful she is or how it would be so easy to suggest we get out of here. It would be effortless. Taking her back to my apartment, letting her make me forget for a while. But I know what comes after, and while I could stomach it halfway across the country, I don’t know if I can here. Not when so many memories of Finley are swimming around me.
It all feels like too much, too real. Like it happened yesterday. My chest begins to tighten and a hard-lump forms in the back of my throat. The urge to escape becomes impossible to ignore.
I should say goodbye. Tell my brother I’m heading out. But I’m too deep into the oncoming panic attack to even attempt it. So instead, without a word, I turn and head for the exit, my feet not able to carry me away fast enough.
